nobody but you (mattheo x femreader)

chapter 12

Y/N'S POV

when i woke up the next morning, the only thing i could think about was mattheo. i knew i had to get ready, but the fact that potions was my first class made me want to shrivel up forever.

talia poked me "Y/N" she whispered "are you getting up?" she said lying next to me in my bed.

"i haven't decided yet, i might just be a little late." i whispered, burying my face in my pillow.

"okay, i'd bunk a bit with you but snape hates me enough at the moment anyway."

"yeah it's fine, i'll see you later." i said.

she slipped out and headed to the lesson. i lay there for about 20 minuets before i got up. i had a quick shower and pulled on my uniform. applying a little bit of make up to make me look less like a member of the living dead.

i was 40 minuets late by the time i got to snapes lesson.

"miss lestrange, how kind of you to join us." he said in his usual cold, sarcastic tone.

i took my seat next to mattheo who was half asleep on his books. i sat with my legs crossed, and leaning away from him. i could see him glancing over at me every now and then. he had dark circles under his eyes and his knuckles were red and had a few open wounds.

he noticed me looking at his hands and moved them beneath his head.

talia turned her head, looking between us, giving me a nod as if to ask (are you okay?) i smiled at her giving a little nod back.

the rest of the lesson went on forever.

once snape dismissed everyone he stopped in front of mattheo's and my desk. "at the end of the week i shall be giving you a test miss lestrange. this will decide wether or not mr riddle has to keep tutoring you. i would advise you come prepared."

i nodded before gathering my books and heading out.

"so what time do you wanna study?" mattheo i asked once we were out of the class room.

i looked up at him, "what?" i asked coldly.

"well if you have a test we should probably do a couple of practice ones as well as going over a few-" he started.

"yeah, i dont think so. i can prepare myself. you don't need to help." i interrupted, walking away.

he walked along with me, "i know i don't have to, but i want to." he said coming to a stop in front of me, blocking my path.

"don't care" i said pushing past him.

"plus i think we should talk about what happened last night." he whispered, catching up with me.

"there's nothing i particularly want to say to you"

"i meant i should talk." he said, pulling me into some random cupboard.

"what is your problem?" i asked as he blocked the door.

"listen i didn't mean anything by what i said, i just knew parts of how that happened" he said glancing at my scar. "and then when you mentioned my family i got angry."

"yep, if the roles were reversed i'd have said the same thing." i said looking up at him.

"right, so why are you mad at me" he asked, leaning back on the door.

"because this" gesturing between us "this is just wrong. neither of us are good for each other. we don't work not in an emotional sense anyway."

"no. i think you're just scared. i think you like me in the same way i like you but you're scared i'm gonna hurt you like your mum did. but i'm not. i'm not my father okay?" he stepped towards me, tucking my hair behind my shoulder. i turned my face away.

"fine. just tell me you don't have any feelings for me. tell me you hate me as much as you say you do. and i'll back off." he said stepping back. praying to himself that i wouldn't.

i stood there weighing out every possible answer i could give. none of them seemed quite right.

"i have to get to class." i said, avoiding eye contact with him. he turned to the side allowing me to walk past and out the door.

i spent the whole of charms thinking about mattheo. it was stupid.

as soon as the class ended i headed straight to my dorm and into bed.

after a few minutes talia came in and slid into bed with me, "what happened?" she asked. wrapping her arms round me. i didn't say anything, only reached into the draw of my bed side table and handed her a tenner.

she looked at it confused for a second then realised. "oh shit, what happened?"

"i don't even know."

"how did it even happen?"

"the night of the party we made out then the next day we had sex and yesterday, only yesterday there was a moment and i freaked out and left, then last night he told me he liked me and a freaked out even more and had a go at him and i'm just confused" i paused taking a deep breath. "that's the short version anyway. i'll give you the details when i figure out what i'm going to do next."

"well do you like him?" she asked

"no. yes. i hate him. but in a i like myself when i'm around him type of way. i don't know"

"it sounds like you like him"

"it does doesn't it" i sighed "fuck"

"hey how about we sneak into filches confiscation cupboard and see if we can steal some alcohol or weed or some shit like that?" she asked

"sure but how are we going to pull that off?" i asked turning over to face her.

"i happen to know two ginger twins that live for that stuff." she whispered.

"okay then i'm in" i laughed.