Wednesday And Enid

Children's shows and depression

(Special Tyler POV!)
(TW Depression, killing, murder, mentions of self harm, alcohol kinda)

Enid, Wednesday and I had watched some episodes of Bluey last night.
It was quite entertaining, I guess I kinda enjoyed it. I can't stand being around them for so long, I guess Wednesday isn't the only one who's gone soft. Ever since I came here I just feel like throwing up and crawling into a hole, I just feel so bad. I used to like the random flashes of memories of me killing those people but now I can't think of anything worse, when they come I just want to... I'm ranting. I can't get overwhelmed because I'll turn.
The place that held me was nice enough to let me stay with dad, I'm thankful for that. But I can't help but feel bad for him too. It's just an endless cycle of guilt and self loathing.

I walk to class. I hear my name called by a familiar voice behind me, it makes my stomach sink.
"Tyler!" Yoko says, catching up.
"Hi." I say.
"You don't sound so happy? Do you want me to leave?" She asks.
"No, it's not you." I say.
"Is it someone else? Did someone say something to you?" She says, she sounds worried.
"No it's just me, why are you so protective?" I ask.
"Cause you're a friend, Friends stick up for each other and try to help the best they can." She says.
Wednesday, Enid and Xavier also catch up.
"Hi!" Enid says.
"Hey pup, having serious talk with Tyler, could you wait a bit?" She asks.
"Sure!" Enid says, walking slower so that we are further away from her.
"If you ever need someone to talk to, you have us. I know it can be weird because you tried to kill us and you're drowning in your own guilt but we need to leave the past behind because you'll never grow with us, you'll always be in your own space thinking that we hate you but we don't. We love you like all of our other friends, don't suffer in silence. You better get something from this cause I am not a soft talk kinda person." Yoko says.
Everyone, even Wednesday is trying to help me but it just makes me feel worse. They actually care but it just makes it worse because I don't deserve it, I'm so weak. I feel myself getting overwhelmed, I have to get out of here. I excuse myself. Weems said if I start to feel overwhelmed at all that I can go to her office. But I don't want to turn on her.
I just lock myself in a bathroom stall instead and try to calm down. I sit on the lid of the toilet and lift my legs up. I rest my head on my knees and hug them. I feel tears roll down my face and I black out.

_______________________________

I don't know how long I was out for, I wake up in the stall. There were claw marks on the inside but I think I managed to trap it inside. The only problem was that when I turned, my clothes tore. I get my phone out and text someone for help.
It was 9pm

Me: Wednesday?

W: are you ok? We were looking for you.

They were looking for me?

Me: I need your help.

W: what's wrong?

Me: could you go to my dorm and get me like some clothes or something.

W: I understand, where would you like me to take them?

Me: bathroom, could you just slide them under the stall that's closed.

W: yes, I'll be right there.

I wait for a while, then I hear the door open.
"Tyler?" I hear her say.
"Sorry." I say.
"It's fine, you can't help it." She says.
I see clothes slide under the stall door, we talk while I get dressed.
"What caused you to turn?" She asks.
"I got overwhelmed. But I managed to trap myself in the stall." I say.
I come out clothed. She looks a little concerned.
"You're bleeding." She says.
I didn't notice but there were scratches all over my arms, bleeding.
"You didn't do this on purpose did you?" She asks, she looks at me. Staring into my soul.
I don't think I did, not that I remember.
"I don't know. Maybe the Hyde did but I don't know it's intentions." I say.
"Come to my dorm, I'll bandage them up." She says.
"You don't have to-"
"I don't care. Is this what I sound like to Enid?" She says.
I follow her back to her dorm, Enid was asleep but woke up when we came in.
"You found him!" She says.
"He messaged me." Wednesday says.
Enid notices my arms.
"Are you ok?" She asks.
"Yeah, just what happens when you try to trap it" I say.
Wednesday wipes them with alcohol and a cloth.
"It stings." I say.
"That's what happens when you put alcohol on an open wound."
Wednesday says.
I guess I kinda deserve it. Wednesday looks at me as if I had said it out loud.
"You don't. You could help it. None of it was your fault." She says.
"How did you-"
"I can read minds, somewhat."
"Since when?"
"Since ages ago, I just don't use it much because mostly what anyone thinks about is either dirty, normal or weird and it gets boring after a while." She says.
"Unless you read my expression well."
"Come on, you and I both know I'm not good with others emotions. I can tell you what Enid thinks about on a daily basis and what she's thinking right now."
"Go on."
"She mostly thinks about me, bluey, Yoko, wolf things and impressing people. What she's thinking right now is 'oh shit she can read minds?' and is now thinking about ravens to make sure I can actually read minds."
"Cool." She finishes wrapping my arms.
"Do you want to sleep here tonight?" She asks.
"I uh, if you don't mind." I say.
"Ok, do you want a bed on the floor or you can sleep in Enid's bed, she never sleeps there anymore anyways." She says.
"Hey!" Enid says, sounding offended but in a joke way.

"I'll sleep on the floor." I say.
"Ok." Wednesday says, she goes to a wardrobe and grabs a few blankets and pillows. She lays a thick blanket on the floor and some others on top. She then places pillows and then a sleeping bag. "There" she says. I sit on the bed and lay down. She gets into her bed with Enid after turning off the lights. "Goodnight." She says. "Goodnight."

(Sorry for making this one so depressing, some of it's written from personal experience too.)
(1122 words)