finding permanence

29: Sam

Max's entire mood is off. The team won 3-1 but he got 3 penalties, almost taking him out of the game.

I think he might have gotten performance anxiety with the news of the Bruins looking at him.

"Now you have to throw it backwards!" Rydell exclaims. It's tradition for us to play untraditionally.

Max shuffles to take his phone out of his pocket. "Who's throwing the party tonight?" I overhear him ask.

"Yeah. I'll be there in a bit." And just like that he hangs up.

"Ditching us for a party?" I tease. Internally, I'm screaming. This is exactly what I was scared of with him. Not being enough to keep him around. Just last week I dumped all my stupid emotions on him, letting him see how pathetic I am.

"I'm not leaving yet, am I?"

"You don't have to be here if you don't want to be." I'm not going to force him to stay.

"I said I'd celebrate with you." He gets up noticing that it's his turn.

Like Rydell said, he throws it backwards. At least he's being a good sport.

But on his way back he starts toeing off his shoes, "I'm going to hit up the junior's party if anyone wants to come with." This is the last round of the game, but we still have 30 minutes at the lane.

I scoff at his rudeness. Asher and Oliver follow in taking off their shoes to go with him.

Rydell and Scott have been in their own little world this whole time so I'm not surprised when they stand to leave as well.

So much for celebrating. "Del's getting tired, so we're going to go back to our place too," Scott claims.

I try not to express my disappointment. We were only here for two games. Usually, I play at least three.

"Do you guys want to play another round?" Our neighbors from freshman year also came to celebrate with us.

"We were going to check out the party, you should come with though." Lily invites me to go along.

"That's ok. I'm not really in the party mood." At least I'm not anymore.

Max is already walking out the door. He didn't even bother saying goodbye. I understand that he's upset, but it's not fair for him to bring my mood down with his.

"I might have another game left in me." Del sits down next to me.

Her and Scott are in the honeymoon stage of their relationship, and I don't want to get in the way of that. "It's not a big deal. Honestly, I'm also a little tired." Mask the disappointment and pretend everything's fine.

"Are you sure? We still have 30 minutes at the lane." Rydell always makes me feel like I have someone out there who cares about me.

"Get out of here. I expect to hear all the juicy details about your night with Scott tomorrow." I force a smile and wiggle my eyebrows at her.

When everyone's gone, I pick up my phone and dial my dad's number. My parents always pick up almost immediately, "Hi Sammy. Two calls in one day, boy do I feel special." I called them earlier with my video game news.

"What are you and mom up to right now?"

"Watching a Criminal Minds episode before going to bed. Why, what's up?"

"Want to come down to The Lanes for some bowling? My friends ditched me for a party."

My parents live about 20 minutes away from campus so, I'm fortunate enough to have them when I need them.