finding permanence

26: Max

Sam totally caught me. Did I think about how touchy I could be with her if I taught her hockey? Absolutely.

However, that wasn't my initial intent. I remember how deflated she sounded when she told me there was no girl's hockey team when she was growing up.

With her spunky, confident attitude, Sam has all the chops to be a hockey player. Plus, I think it would be a good release for her.

She's so visibly stressed with her whole birth mom situation, I thought it would be good to help her divert her thoughts.

And I like to pride myself in thinking that it's working. Because her shoulders are more relaxed, her smiles are less forced, and her responses are snappier and more sarcastic than ever.

I'm getting my girl back. Fuck. I need to stop thinking about her as 'my girl'. She will be mine and I'll be her's, I just need to wait until graduation.

"HA-HA! I made it!" I don't even register the fact that she totally just scored on me.

I have not been taking it easy on her. Mainly because she never takes it easy on me and I know she loves a good challenge.

But here I was, entrapped in my own fantasies of life after graduation that she managed to out best me.

"It was luck." I pass the puck back towards her so she can try again. "I bet you can't make it again."

"What do I get if I do?" She receives it and puts it in position.

"What do you want?"

She taps her finger to her chin. "If I make this shot, you have to." She thinks on it a little more. "You have to buy me ice cream after this!"

"Sure," I take the risk of adding, "If I block it, you have to give me a kiss. On the lips," I add so that she doesn't pull some bullshit cheek kiss.

Her lips part in a shocked expression, "Close your mouth Sammy, you'll catch a fly."

"Why on earth would I agree to that? And why on earth do you want a kiss from me." She can't hide her blush.

I shrug my shoulders, "I'm out of practice. The last girl I kissed was some rando weeks ago at a party. She tasted like she just vomited, and I need to replace that with something good." I make up a lame ass excuse.

Truth is plain and simple: I always want to kiss Sam. This just gives me the perfect opportunity to do it without making things complicated.

Her face sours, "You kissed a girl after she puked?"

"I obviously wouldn't have done it if I'd known." I throw my hands up dramatically. "I need to erase the thought out of my brain so the next time I kiss a girl, I won't be thinking about vomit mouth. Plus, my lips are feeling very cold."

"That's it then? It's not because you think a kiss will sway me into anything more?" I try not to let her comment affect me. She's really putting an emphasis on us not going not crossing boundaries in our friendship today.

"I think you need a kiss. You're definitely out of practice." At least I hope she is. Because I don't want to think about her kissing anyone who's not me.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Her hand falls to her hips as she juts one side out.

"When's the last time you kissed someone? Who was your last Tinder date again? Porter? That was like more than a month ago," I egg her on so that she agrees to the bet. Also, I am curious to see how she responds.