finding permanence

24: Max

The second we walked out of the apartment, I noticed Sam's shoulders rise with tension. And as we walk through the aisles at the grocery store, that same sense of uneasiness clings to her.

I try to distract her with conversation, but she is constantly surveying her surroundings as if her mom is going to pop out any second.

The fear that her mom has instilled in her is sickening. I hate seeing her like this.

"Finally!" Her loud exclamation brings me back to reality.

"What?" I watch her fling open one of the doors in the frozen section.

"They have chicken and cheese chimichangas. They are usually always out and I'm stuck with beef and jalapeno." The excitement on her face over something so small makes me smile.

"Look at that, things are turning around. All is well in the world again." She grabs more than I can count. "Good god, they can't be that good."

She gaps up at me, "They are life changing Max. We can eat some when we get back. Your mind will be blown."

"Max! I thought I saw you, you're too tall to miss." I look over my shoulder and am faced with a tall blonde.

"Serena." I look back to Sam who is avoiding eye contact at all costs. I shake my head when she starts pretending to read the back of her chimichanga.

"You never answered my question." Looking back at her, I tilt my head in confusion. "About grabbing coffee?"

"Oh right." How could I forget. I only get about two texts pushing me to go a day. From both Serena and my mom.

"Your mom said you were just busy with the hockey season. I'm thinking maybe we could go before you leave for your game in Oregon."

"You've been talking to my mom?" This whole situation is honestly getting so ridiculous.

"I'm gonna go grab some bananas," I hear Sam say from behind me.

"I'll go with, just give me a sec." She has a hard expression painted on her face.

"This seems like a conversation that might take more than a sec." Without giving me anytime to respond, she wheels the cart away in the produce direction.

"Serena, we aren't together anymore. There's no reason why you should be talking to my mom. Honestly that's crossing a boundary." I pinch the bridge of my nose.

I've come to the conclusion that Serena is not the type of person who I want to spend my life with.

I think maybe I've always known deep down, but I was always too scared to admit it.

And then I met Sam. And all of a sudden Serena was just a picture of the past and I had my whole future right in front of me.

But I know Sam wants to wait until after graduation to get into a serious relationship. She wants to focus on her career first. So, I'm not going to make a move until then. I respect her decision to wait, and I don't mind being patient.

But you can bet that as soon as we are finished with commencement, I'm going to take her off the market.

I figure I can do it at the graduation ceremony. That seems romantic to me.

"We ran into each other at the last game. I wasn't just going to ignore her Max. I know that you want to punish me for what I've done. But I think that I've been tortured for long enough. I'm ready to get back together now."