Elf of Fire and Light: Book 2: Water

Chapter 49

Chapter 49

Miranda's POV

"He was a good man," Bilbo stated softly, staring at the rolling fire.

"Yes," I agreed, thinking of his bushy black beard, piercing eyes, and rough hands. "He was."

"He," Bilbo gulped. "He..." The words died in his throat. We sat in silence for some time before he tried again. "He. Thorin." His voice lowered by the weight of his emotions. He seemed to give up on his original statement and instead laughed, albeit forced, "He was guarded when we first met him wasn't, he?"

"Prickly like a cactus. He lashed out at everyone, as if he imagined himself to be a honey badger; even stood against those twice as tall and half as wide." I added, laughing slightly thinking of his response to Thranduil.

"I believe he told me that I was never going to fit in," Bilbo recalled.

"At least you didn't have to fight him in order to earn a place in the company," I muttered.

"True," he admitted. We sat in silence for a while, each lost in our own thoughts.

I looked at the mantel, there were pictures of Bilbo's mother and father. Father. My eyes traveled down and into the fire. I saw it again, Smaug rising into the sky coated in gold and his body burning from the inside out. He burned because of me. He fell from the sky of smoke and fire into ice cold water. I can still see the light fading from his eyes.

"Thorin shouldn't have died on that ice," Bilbo spoke, interrupting my thoughts.

"I'm sorry?" I asked, thinking I had misheard him.

"He transversed Middle Earth to take back his home. He protected his kin, his friends. He tricked Smaug and Killed Azog. He saved us. He shouldn't have had to die," He replied.

"You're right," I stated. "He didn't have to die."

"Then why did he?" Bilbo lamented.

I shrugged and thought, because he couldn't follow directions, even once. I then asked, "Do you remember all those times where Gandalf would tell him where to meet and he would just keep going?" Bilbo nodded. "I told him not to fight Azog alone. He did not head my warning."

"Then you should have tried harder!" Bilbo exclaimed.

"His death is not my fault!" I shouted back. Thorin's death is not my fault, that's the first time I said it and believed it. "It wasn't my fault," I repeated, my voice barely above a whisper.

Bilbo's eyes widened. "No, of course not. I'm sorry I don't know what came over me." He turned to stare at the fire. "I don't..."

"Bilbo?" I asked cautiously. "What you found in the goblin tunnels; you should get rid of it."

The hobbit shook his head. "No."

"But I think it is affecting your emotions," I pressed.

"No," Bilbo repeated. "It's just the emotions of the day. The sun was up a long time." I opened my mouth to argue but he cut me off. "I do not wish to talk about this, especially not tonight."

"Of course," I acquiesced. "It was indeed a long day. We should rest for the night."

"Yes," Bilbo echoed. "Yes."