Play the field- Jimin Park

Chapter Twenty-Eight

I really didn't think I could feel pain so deep from someone I've hardly known a few months. I never knew I could have my heart ripped from my chest and set on fire by my sheer desire to have someone who has no real interest in me.

What the fuck was I even doing, about to give my heart to someone. Even thought we did say we would fuck around to teach her the ways, but I know I wasn't so sure I even wanted that. No.... I know that's not what I wanted.

I would wear nothing but a smile the rest of the day because I can't let something like this affect me, It's not me. I shouldn't care.

But the problem is....I do.

After a quick shower, I don't bother getting dressed. Instead, I wrap a towel around my dripping wet body and venture into the kitchen.

"The heater worked last night!" She marvels, and my heart sinks like a stone.

I fired it up while she was gone, hoping she'd come to my bed willingly.

My chest grows heavy. Elle managed to deflate my ego with one prick of her tongue. I was nothing more than a heater. And last night, when she didn't need my services, she didn't bother to show.

With all my heart and soul, I wish she wanted me. A part of me wants to weep like a schoolgirl at the thought of Elle getting it on with another dude.

My lips twitch a mournful smile. I want to look away, pull my gaze from hers, but she's hooked me, reeled me in with those sea glass lenses.

I really have to pretend this hasn't hurt me.

"Look at me" I glance down at my body

"Jimin"

"I want you to see every part of me" I grab a hold of the towel cinched at my waist, and her lip's part, her eyes magnify in size at what I'm about to do. She shakes her head ever so slightly, mortified that I had ditched "good morning" and went for the carnal jugular before she could down her coffee. I open the towel, slow and methodical, exposing her in full to every inch of my being.

Selfishly, I wish she wanted to see me, to have me all for herself.

She turns away, quick as a hurricane, and spills the contents of her mug in the process.

"Shit. Good morning to you, too." She lands her cup hard on the sink and leans toward the window.

"Lesson of the day." I come up from behind - adhere myself to the curve of her body and don't bother to pull away once I feel myself grow. "I want you to see me like this," I whisper almost ashamed of what I'm asking her to do. "You don't have to touch. Just look." It comes out sad, forlorn because I know deep down inside, she won't - that I don't deserve to have her look at me.

"Jimin..." She turns her head into my shoulder. She doesn't say anything, and for a minute, I think she might cry, that I might turn into a giant pussy and join in on the sob-fest.

I offer a gentle kiss to her cheek, and our lips find one another for the first time in a week. It's as if she were afraid to kiss me lying in my bed, as if my mouth were the portal to unspoken treasures, and once she entered, she could never leave.

That visual of her touching that dude on the collar, laughing at whatever flew from his lips, rolls through me like rancid fat, and I pull away.

"I guess I'll see you in class," I say, cinching up my towel.

She takes a breath, never taking her sad eyes off mine. "I guess you will."

*********

"Happy birthday to me" I whisper to myself.

Sighing I enter the class and take a seat right at the back, a girl greets me with her traditional snarl.

Figures. It's going to be a crap day all around, I can tell.

I came so close to telling Jimin that I have feelings for him. That I don't want to play the stupid little game anymore. That I actually want to engage in a monogamous relationship with him and do everything with his body that he would ever want, but the words wouldn't formulate on my lips. Technically, it was his fault for side-lining me by asking me to conduct a body-scan before breakfast. Hell - who am I kidding? I would have inhaled his body for breakfast, but a part of me is holding back. If he doesn't want just me, then I suppose I shouldn't want him in that way - and, frighteningly enough, I think I still do.

"Good morning, everyone" He greets

To hell with it. I'm jumping in his bed tonight and having myself a nice little birthday. He's wearing a sliver chain and a shirt. The man doesn't fight fair.

"The topic this week is love. I want you to photograph something that you love. It doesn't have to be a person; it could be absolutely anything. Like a cup of coffee" Our eyes meet, and he gives me a quick wink.

Does he think love is a joke?

"Can anyone tell me what they love? Or what they would take a photograph off?"

Miss Thin Lips spikes her hand in the air like she's about to have an accident. Personally, I'm rooting for the accident.

"Monica." He nods with a prolonged blink.

Ha! She is totally getting on his last nerve.

She clears her throat and cuts me a look as if she heard. "I have a few things in mind, Professor but I don't think it would be aloud"

He gulps. "I'm afraid to ask Miss Heaney, but continue"

"I want to photograph a picture of my boyfriend naked because I love him, and I feel the art behind that would be really cool. Especially if it was in colour"

I roll my eyes

Jimin leans against his desk "Listen, it doesn't matter what it is. Honestly. Nothing here says that you can't photograph that Monica, it's up to you. That's what it says here anyway"

She smiles proudly

"But tell me, why do you love your boyfriends naked body. What makes you attracted to that?" he asks

Weird?

"He makes me feel all different types of way. He loves me, cares for me, buys me flowers. He makes me feel like the only girl in the world. But if its ok maybe I could do a few photographs?"

He nods

"Yeah, one of him being all cute and one of him not being so cute. Ya know, bad?"

He nods again

"It can kind of show that everyone has two sides"

He smiles "That's a very good idea"

"Really?" she beams

He nods "It will show all of his different characters, that's very good. Well done"

She sits down again beside me.

Jimin cuts a look in my direction and smirks.

"Has anyone here ever been in love?" He asks

Most people raise their hand up, but his eyes never leave mine "Or are in love"

I slowly raise my hand up. "Elle, you look like you have something to say?"

I take in a sharp breath. "Something to say? Am I in love?"

He nods "Are you?"

I shrug "I think so"

"Are you?" I ask

He sighs and shrugs his shoulders.

There's my answer.

Jimin closes his eyes. A seam of liquid seals over his lashes. He turns to the board and takes out his aggression on a tiny piece of chalk as he scrawls out an assignment.

"Give me a short essay on the vulnerability of love." He pulls me in with a volatile stare as everyone busies themselves with the task at hand. "Elle, can I see you in the hall a minute?"

I take him in like this, the well-dressed authoritarian with his glasses firmly in place, his hair slicked back nice and neat. I think I like the sweaty version, the midnight rendition who presses his stubble into my neck while his hard-on pleads with my body to find it a home.

"No," I say and get to the business of writing an essay for my professor.

So far, I've had a pretty shitty birthday.