Being done with Draco kinda let apart of me grow, to be more civil with my choices. If that makes any sense.
1 week after Mattheo leaving
I felt fine the first week I've spend time with myself I've been reading more and spending time with Hermione we've made our friendship grow. She was not supportive of everything I did. But that is who I am I can't really follow the rules.
And for me and Leo well... we become distance.
We were close. But we didn't talk. We knew a lot about each other but I wasn't sure if he had remembered little things about me like i did about him. I remember his favorite color and his favorite meal. I know it's a bit creepy but it doesn't matter.
I knew him for a long time. So it hurt, if he didn't know the little stuff about me. The real question is, why am I even thinking about him he had to be a bitch and not write back to me. He honestly scared me because at the time when we were younger I did care for his well-being but he never wrote back so I thought the worse had happened to him it would take an eternity for me to forgive him. I know I am over reacting.
And all he does since I saved him and he saved me. He just stares at me and glanced like he did when he got here.
But sadly my heart belonged to... no one I was my own person and one day I would find the right one but it certainly was not going to be any of these boy's
2 weeks after Mattheo leaving
My mind was working its way too peace until of course the one and only Draco Lucius Malfoy had to disturb that peace... like usual.
He sat across from me in the library. There were two sofas across from each other. He kept staring at me it got weird after 5 minutes. I was trying to read the book Mattheo was reading every time I went to the lake I usually saw it beside him or in front of his face. It was quite interesting. But I could not focus because I felt eyes on me I knew who they'd belong to.
I eventually grew tired of it and decided to speak up.
"So are you going to keep staring at me or talk?"
"I wasn't planning on speaking"
"Good because I am done with you"
"Wait can I try-" he then realized what he was about to say so he held back rest of the sentence. I then got up and left.
Classes have been the same especially DADA. No one at my group talked, Draco couldn't keep his eyes to himself he kept his eyes on... Astoria Greengrass I felt hurt but I couldn't let my emotions take over me, and it was nothing new too he stared at her like she was his world. But in some way I felt... Reviled.
3 weeks after Mattheo leaving
Spending half of the time at the Great Lake became boring without Mattheo I like his bitterness.
It reminded me of myself.
But I did loose myself.
No one bothered to speak to me I just sat back and observed everything around me, I realized that no one put effort into starting a conversation with me.
And for Leo... Well he has been flirting with other girls which made me feel jealous.
But why?
I got over him a long time ago... at least I thought so.
5 weeks after Mattheo leaving
I lost myself.
I don't want anyone to show sympathy towards me. It makes me sick in a way.
I knew I have changed but everyone else had too.
It's like they all decided to stop speaking to me... but why?
What did I do to deserve this.
8 weeks after Mattheo leaving
No one checked up on me.
Draco didn't even bother to look my way.
Leo is dating Hermione, surprising... I know.
I knew Hermione was doing that to piss me off.
Luna she acted like, I did not even exist.
I became cold because the lack off affection people give me. At first I did not affection but I missed it somehow.
Draco started to date Astoria.
And sleeping became a hobby.
The words that came out of my mouth when people spoke to me where cruel.. I didn't care though.
10 weeks after Mattheo leaving
Bitterness, is how I describe it.
My bitter soul to cold for anyone.
New people tried to start a conversation with me but I always denied there interest in a conversation with me.
Sleep stopped being a hobby and smoking did I didn't care if it was a cigarette or weed I did one or the other and alcohol I drank that every now and then.
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