Only For You

XXXV) Marion: Lost that Feeling

The sound of the jets behind me roared as I tried to center my brain on focus mode. Nothing seemed to work. My hand slowly moved the throttle forward until the plane was inching across the apron. I was ordered to stop at the indicated area. I said a short and quick prayer right before they told me to go fly. It seemed painful -it was. I was not made to fly to fight. I was flying to serve my country. The engines seemed to overcome my ears as I just tried to relax. Nothing was ever working and I fell into a deep trance of scary daydreams.

My mind pulled out of it as soon as I heard men over frequency. "Hard left Lynx."someone shouted and I listened. I felt this deep sorrow and deep regret knowing what will happen. My landing gear retracted as I continued to head west off into the distance to make a turn around. I laughed to myself as the irrationality kicked in. The seemingly endless shot of motivation came through my veins. It was as if I was depressed, but then I got a shot of morphine. The music kicked in through my mind. I am a pilot -I am a female pilot. Rarity is never misery. My hand shifted and pulled the stick side to side. My face felt the Gs as maneuvering the plane soon turned into fighting to not pass out. Never in a million years did I think I would get the chance to fly these jets of a bird.

Oh, but what does it take to survive? What does it take to fight? What is necessary to succeed? Aviation. My breaths became heavy as I was managing the plane and the guns at the same time. I was not going to give up that easily. That is not even in my league to even consider. My lips pursed as the flying became more intense. "Lynx, I see fire, I see red!" Another pilot yelled. "Alpha Mike, change your heading!" I replied back. I diverted the plane on a hard left bank angle. I fired the deterrent missiles at the enemy aircraft. "Defend!" Stryker yelled at the top of his lungs over frequency. With every breath I took it seemed as if they were getting more and more hot. I realized that these breaths were pure luck. I sought revenge.

I felt as if I was knocking on heaven's door. This was the end -the time I had to kiss everything goodbye. I saw red and orange lights flashing everywhere as the bullets were disabling aircraft around me. I swerved and shot back, but nothing seemed to work. Time slowed. Every second felt like a minute. Every minute felt like an hour. Every hour felt like a decade. I was coughing from all of the smoke and the yelling. "Hupt right!" I tried to warn the others of an oncoming plane. If my keen eyes did not see it, then we would have all been dead. Maybe someone would rescue me in the nick of time. The impossible often does not become possible.

I always just wanted to live free, but never did I think I would be in the heart of a war. The cold touch of my fingers, the sweat down my forehead, and even the cracks on my lips were causing me pain. This pure misery that is very hard to even fathom. From the depths of despair brought forth this. It seemed as if my life was truly coming to a halt -an end. I had to get back up, I could not ever give up again. I had to live.

"Don't you dare give up! Marion! Marion! Fight baby!" The words expressed in my mind as I continued to fight with the controls. No one was speaking through frequency. There was no one by me. I realized my plane made it through the smoke and to the clear skies. The sunset was an auburn color from all of the smoke. I began to doze off, but soon heard the voice yet again. I could not even figure out where or who the voice was coming from. It sounded familiar, but my mind still remained completely clueless. It was time to kiss it goodbye. From what I understood half the men in my squadron returned back to the ground as they needed fuel. Individuals in the E-2C Hawkeye closely monitored the area. They approved the clearance for me to land

As soon as those wheels touched the ground I was so thankful. Nathan's voice echoed, "Lieutenant Wright." I immediately turned towards him only to realize that his hand was touching my shoulder. I responded, "Yes sir!" The look in his eyes was fearful. "Do you have anything? Do you have anything to help her? Sarah!" I wrapped him up in my arms and gave him a compassionate hug. I felt his arms inch further down my back. We held each other tightly. I knew I really could not come to her aid. "I heard Marion... I know what happened to you. My Sarah is passing, I think." I truly felt bad for him. "We have to fly, we need to get back in the air. It is so important. Nate, it is the only sane thing we can do right now." We continued to hug as he was rubbing my lower back. "We have this last mission tomorrow and this can certainly end this whole war. I know it will. We have to get through this." I looked into his deep brown eyes. "I-I am hurt." His voice echoed. I replied, "I know, we all are. Everything will be alright. We cannot go by that site. No matter what, there is a 150 mile radius around that area, we cannot go there. Just follow my plane and follow my formation. These men have paved the path for you, you just have to look up." I smiled at him. "You know, all of the men here have a crush on you? You are known as the dreaming angel." His voice said quietly while trying to conceal the pain he was feeling.

I laughed a small giggle before speaking again, "You know what? I sort of figured that out. I am assuming you have a crush on me too? I am just an odd female that flies planes. What more can I be? What more can I do?" I left a little chuckle before adding to my statement, "I like that -dreaming angel. Who came up with that?" My smile beamed further as he loosened the grip between us. "A guy named Nicholas Schneider." He was even smiling, "You know it is true? You really are a dreaming angel." He finished. I rolled my eyes a little so it seemed like I was giving the classic pilot attitude. "I had a soft spot for him -Nick. I pull off as tough and menace as possible. Man, I just couldn't get away from him. He just was different. I miss my German guy more than I could ever express. Maybe he is still out there, at least I like to think so. I cannot believe Nicholas helped come up with that name." Max stood with me next to the nose of the plane. "He is, I am sure he is. Go on dreaming angel, go conquer the skies. We will do this, and we will make it through." He smiled, turned, and left me. I smiled at the drama. In aviation rumors really spread quickly.