Only For You

XXVII) Marion- Chase Them Away

Maybe it's always been my ego, but I've always been ready to put up a fight. I threw on my uniform coat. I took all emotion out of my face and mind. This emotionless zombie was suiting up to fight. Being emotionless was the only way I could get past the pain of war. It hurt so bad seeing people dying and having to be a part of that. The sleepless nights are getting old. "Marion, suave." I heard a guy say. "Gracias." I chuckled back. As I was doing the walk around check my mind wandered the deep thoughts. "Who's top of the class?" The voice said again. "That's my girl." I heard the voice all around me, but then only to discover no one there. "Ich bin nur Für Dich." It was a sweet, yet calming voice. There's only one person on this earth that would say that to me: Nick. Every time I turned there was no one there. "It's okay. Always remember to take care of it, what's ahead and not what's behind." After that the voice went away.

"Ay! There's a storm crossing the Atlantic right now and it's gigantic. Headwinds at 50 miles per hour." I heard the Commander say. That scared me. "Headwinds!" I heard another pilot yell back. "You cannot expect us to fight in those conditions. The weather patterns are not good. They are too risky. Please don't make us go. This dark earth weather pattern makes being a pilot harder. Captain, you can't let us go." He said as I turned my back away. My hand patted the plane and wished myself a safe flight.

I felt a tap on my shoulder. "Lieutenant Wright, may I speak to you?" The blonde officer asked. "Uhm sure..." I followed him under the fuselage. "You know, I know what happened and how bad you feel. Being drafted and everything. This isn't my choice or my obligation. I fought tooth and nail trying to avoid having to tell you this." Just the way he acted it was almost as if he was hiding something. I rolled my shoulders back and took a breath, "Just go, tell me." My eyes stared back at the men working off in the distance. They looked fatigued and sad. I was the same too. Man doesn't that hurt? I stepped closer to the landing gear.

The Lieutenant looked into my eyes. "Marion, look something happened..." He struggled to find words. "Just tell me okay!" I raised my voice causing him to jump a little. "The man you loved is missing. He was shot down and they just found the plane rubbish. I'm so sorry." His eyes looked at the ground. My mind immediately went crazy. "No way. You are the biggest liar... he's gone. Nick is gone! How do you know?" I asked with a panicking voice. "They couldn't find him. It's all over the news Marion. Germany's best fighter pilot is missing in action. They never found his body either. He's been gone for a week now." The officer found a sense of pity for the whole thing. The tears heavily streamed down my face. "Lieutenant... that's not what I wanted to hear... right before I literally might die. He's gone?" There was a break in between my speaking due to my irrational crying. "This isn't fair. Why would it happen to him? I'm not going out now. This is so stupid. Who could do such a thing? He's gone, missing? You mean I can't hug him anymore? He's that kind of gone -missing?" I screamed at the officer.

The gusty wind blew over the apron and hit my face. "He's that kind of missing Marion. I'm so sorry." His voice shook, but still seemed overly confident. "I almost got a dishonorable discharge and now this! How the heck am I supposed to even find motivation to move forward? I hate all of this so much. It's not fair to me, you. I don't understand how this could be so complicated and hard. He's dead!" I was screaming and all the Lieutenants were watching me. After about a minute of me screaming there were a few officers that came over in an attempt to help me. "I don't understand why this has to happen." My body fell and hit the concrete below. "This is so bad. Why did I have to get drafted? If I didn't get drafted none of this would have happened. Now I'm responsible for going AWOL and I'm responsible for all the failures in this operation. There's nothing left in my soul. My friends are all gone and I'm being driven crazy and harassed. Why should I have to go through this?"

I felt broken and certainly very angry. My anxiety was pulling me off the face of the earth. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. "You know what? You send them here and I will talk to them. Don't even think about it." I said very aggressively. The officers came over to calm me down. "You know what! This draft has messed up my entire life. I am nearly walking around half dead and you all seem to think I can still fight. You know what? Do not bury the love of my life because of something that's not even his fault. The reason why I defend him is beyond me. I went AWOL and obviously they're desperate for people here because I should have been kicked out. Make sense? Not to me. Nicky was my best friend. So what happened to make him go missing?" I stood there sobbing and yelling uncontrollably. "We have to go, Lieutenant Wright." They helped me into my plane, but I refused because I'm perfectly independent.

I was mad... blood boiling, steam coming from my ears, and a red face.