"you never forget to bring me flowers, do you?"
please note that this story contains:
gxg sexual activities
suicide and mentions of it
self-harm
use of drugs & alcohol
depression
anxiety
eating disorders
please don't read if these are triggering f...
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billie 428 days before
i invited jasmine to swim today.
we're having a barbecue with my family and i wanted her to be there with me. she agreed and said she was excited.
currently, we're in my room, we should go swimming in an hour.
"how were you today?" jasmine asked me and brushed her fingers through my hair.
"okay," i shrugged. "i'm kinda in a neutral mood,"
"you sure it was okay? you seem sad," she sighed.
"mhm," i nodded and zoned out staring at a wall with a blanket beside me.
she would understand my feelings better if she saw the things i write behind it.
"bil?" she broke the silence again. i hummed, looked up at her, and waited for her question. "you know i'm always here to talk to, right? if anything, you can tell me. i don't care if it was 3 am, you can always come to me, okay?" she assured me and smiled softly. i nodded slightly and cuddled up to her more.
"thank you," i whispered. "i'll keep that in mind,"
"you should," she smiled. "should we change into our swimsuits now?"
"can we take a quick nap? i'm tired," i pouted. she giggled and nodded, pulling the covers over us. "sleep well. i'll wake you up when it's time," she told me.
"you're not going to sleep?" i asked, confused. she shook her head and explained she wasn't tired. i let myself fall asleep in her arms.
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"billie," i heard a voice whisper all over again. "wake up, angel. your mom said they're going to start grilling now," i stirred in jasmine's arms and opened my eyes. once i adjusted to the light in my room, i smiled and sat up slowly.
"geez, i wanna sleep," i whined and laid down again. "but i wanna swim too,"
"let's go swim then," she chuckled. "i promise when you get up, you won't be that tired anymore," she said and patted my hip. i groaned and stood up, almost fell but luckily regained balance.
i went to my closet for my bikini, although i'd rather wear a one-piece swimsuit. unfortunately, i don't own one.
i went to the bathroom to change into it. once i did, i looked at my body in the mirror. i don't fully hate it, but i don't like it either. some days i'm confident as hell, and some days i'm insecure.
just like a normal person, you know.
i sighed and decided to throw a big towel over my body, so it wasn't shown for unnecessarily long.
