pink flowers | billie eilish

eight

jasmine
440 days before

"you don't know how many hair colors you had?" i asked. billie was telling me about how she loves to dye her hair often, but i never knew she started so young.

"no? i lost count. i'm too lazy to look at my photos and count," she shrugged and took a bite from her burrito.

yes, burrito again.

she eats it every time we hang out. not like i have a problem with it, i just never knew someone could have this much love for burritos.

"lazy ass," i scoffed.

"don't act like you're not one," she rolled her eyes at me. "you literally wouldn't eat just because you were too lazy to make some food!"

"shit happens," i shrugged. "so, how were you this weekend? you didn't text me,"

"oh, honestly just sleeping," she chuckled. "i didn't have anything else to do,"

"you could've called me and we could hang out," i frowned. "i don't want you to be alone and sleep all the time,"

"jaz, i'm okay with it. i love sleeping," she assured me. "plus, i'm always tired. i've told you this,"

"i know, i don't think it's really okay tho."

"it is," she brushed it off. "let's talk about something different,"

"about what?" i raised my eyebrows. she always says this and then we have nothing to talk about.

"hmm," she hummed. "i dunno. the best conversations come so unexpectedly,"

"that's true," i agreed. "what do you love the most?"

"flowers," she answered. i raised my eyebrows, waiting for her to explain. "they bring me so much comfort for some reason,"

"really?" i asked. i've never heard that someone would get comfort from flowers, i think.

"yeah, i feel safe when i have flowers around me," she described. "every time someone gives me flowers, i like them immediately. it's crazy,"

"imma make sure i bring you flowers sometimes," i grinned.

"how nice," she scoffed. "no seriously, you don't have to. i just told you this because you asked,"

"i know," i shrugged. "you won't stop me tho,"

she sighed and adjusted her head on her pillow. "you know what i've been thinking about a lot?" she turned her head to look into my eyes. i let out a hum and watched her as she licked her lips, like she does all the time, and smiled softly. "what happens after you die? where do you go? do awful things just.. fade away?"

"nobody knows that," i whispered.

"for some reason, i imagine myself being in a nice place full of pink flowers and soft pillows. i don't know why, but i hope it's something like that." she chuckled sweetly and ran her fingers through her hair.

"why are you thinking about this?" i frowned a little bit. i think about death too sometimes, but when someone else does, it makes me nervous and worried about them.

"it just crosses my mind sometimes," she told me. "sometimes i take a walk to a cemetery and look at people's graves, i like to think about what they achieved in their lifetime. everyone has a different story, you know?" she said and sighed. "sorry, this is stupid,"

"it's not," i quickly assured her. "i get it. sometimes i'm like this too. my therapist is always ripping her hair out because i'm talking about these things for hours,"

"me too," she giggled. "death is so.. strange and unexplored,"

"well, the only time when you can explore it, is when you die," i snorted. "that's what sucks about it,"

"one day we will find out," she stated.

"hopefully not so soon; i kinda like life right now," i admitted. it was true, billie made me feel better for some reason.

"mhm," she hummed. she pursed her lips and looked away from me. it was almost like she didn't want me to see her eyes, they were hiding something.

the amount of things you could figure out just out of your eyes is insane.

"you alright?" i asked. she nodded in response and smiled. again, you could see a lot of things behind the smile.

one; it was obviously fake.

two; i don't even know.

but i let it be. if she doesn't want me to know what's wrong, then that's okay.

"i wanna dye my hair," billie randomly mentioned. "i'm bored of this black."

"what color is on your mind?" i asked her. to be honest, i think her hair will fall out if she dyes it.

"blonde," she answered.

her hair is definitely falling out.

"you would look cute. you should try bangs too," i imagined her in my head, she would look awesome.

"you think?" she smiled. "okay. i'll book an appointment,"

"shiit, alright," i chuckled. "promise me i'll be the first one to see your new hair tho," i stuck out my pinky, making her look at me weirdly. she eventually connected our pinkies and promised me.

"you'll look like a soft baby even more," i snorted.

"stop with that! i don't wanna look that soft," she pouted. "at least don't tease me about it, damn."

"sorry," i giggled. "i'm just telling the truth,"

"sure," she mumbled. "you know what we should do right now?"

"get naked,"

"no! the hell." she made a weird face. "stupid. i think we should take a fat ass nap,"

"naked cuddles?" i smirked.

"okay." she shrugged and pretended to take off her shirt. "fuck no, good night," she turned away from me and got comfortable. i let out a snort and wrapped my hand around her waist from behind, said 'good night, stupid,' and finally drifted off to sleep.

i thought she was really being serious for a second :(

🌸

a/n:
heyy how are y'all doingg??

this is just a short filler chapter :)

what do you guys think the amount of days in the beggining means??

don't forget to vote!!!!!