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chapter forty-five
"so, will you?"
hyunjin asks me, again. i'm not sure what kind of a response to give him. it's late, he's tired, maybe he's not thinking clearly.
"but hyunjin, i can't just pack up and move to america. my family, everything is here."
"no, i don't mean move, i couldn't ask you to do that. just come with me, for the summer"
"and what about the boys?" i ask.
"do you want them to come?" he asks simply.
"well.. i'll miss them" i say, attending to the little itch that has occurred on the back of my neck.
"they can come too" he adds.
"i don't know if this is a good idea" he lets out a sigh at my uncertainness, shifting his position in bed.
"i want to spend as much time with you as i can. my parents, they won't let me spend the summer here. they want me to finish school and leave immediately."
"and you're serious about this?"
"i'm positive"
"okay" i watch his smile grow, resulting in my own smile.
"you want to go overseas on your own with 7 boys? there's absolutely no way." my mother says with sternness and sincerity laced in her voice.
all the boys are on board. i think it was time for a getaway anyway.
"but mom.. please. just think about it at least. we're almost adults, and we're all responsible." i think of felix and jisung. well, most of us.
"come on mom, say yes" i continue to plead. i really want to do this for hyunjin, and for myself.
"fine, i'll give it a little thought. but i'm not guaranteeing a yes!" i squeal and wrap my arms around her small frame, placing a swift kiss to her cheek. i feel the bones of her ribcage dig into my skin, and i frown.
"have you eaten today?" her cheekbones are more visible then usual and her jaw is sharper.
"uhh.. yes. i have" a small smile greets her face as she puts the clean dishes away. i begin to help her.
"are you sure? you've been looking a lot thinner lately"
"i have darling, don't worry about me" i notice a hint of dishonesty in her voice, but i decide to leave it alone, maybe she really has eaten.
-
soft, warm lips press against mine as hyunjin's hands gently splay across my jaw. he slips an arm around my waist, pulling me up from the bed of flowers beneath me, and into his front.
i hum, wrapping my arms around his neck, my hands rising to play with the little wisps of hair resting on his head.
"i love you" he pulls away, lips only a few inches from mine. my heart races upon hearing those simple three words. three words that mean so much.
"i love you too" i whisper, watching a smile break out on his face.
his eyes sparkle against the sunlight, and i stare at him in disbelief. can someone really be this beautiful?
"hyunjin" he turns to face me again.
"yes love" a giddy smile forms at my lips from his response.
"when did you.. first realise that you loved me?"
i unknowingly nuzzle my face into his neck, clutching onto him with every fibre of my body.
i feel safe here.
"a little after we started dating, after you came to visit me in hospital. i couldn't stop thinking about you, and how thoughtful you'd been." the smile on my face only grows wider at his words.
but nothing is said after this, it's just comfortable silence.
