You and Me | Taekook

Nightmares and Wildest Dreams

T.w. the following chapter contains triggering contents, readers discretion is required. Minors DNI. 
Warning tags: past trauma, implied and referenced homophobia, homophobic abuse, mental harassment, harrassment of a minor, conversion rituals, physical abuse, exorcism and other possible triggers.

(A.N. this chapter is based on the volunteering work I have done for years in LGBTQA + community rehab. The characters might be fictional but the instances are based on real life experiences of variety of people. Kindly be mindful of your interactions on such topics.)

When Jungkook entered the room, he saw Taehyung standing by the big glass window. Looking out, at the view they have of their gardens. He looked like he was searching for something. 
'Is he looking at the place where we kissed? Why? Does he regret it? Do I regret it? But it felt right. It felt good. Did I deserve it? Was it the right thing to do? Does it make me a…. No Jungkook, come back. We have been through it. This is right. There is nothing wrong in feeling good about the kiss. It's normal. You are not wrong for whom you like. What you went through all those years back is not something you want to go back to. Erase it. Move on…'

He doesn't know how much time he spent next to his bed, standing like a still object. But then he felt delicate fingers brushing his hair off his face. Massaging his brows and temples to ease the strain. Worried feline eyes, scanning his face. He felt his husband's warm palms cupping his jaw and cheeks.

"Kookie, what happened? What are you thinking about? You look all pale. Is it about earlier? Did I do or say something wrong?" Tae checked warily. 

"Hey, No! it's not that… I.. I was just scared, okay?" Kook said, closing his eyes hurriedly, afraid he might cry. The palms left his cheeks, and fingers went back to his locks.

It had become their thing since the first day after the wedding. Whenever Kook would be stressed, his head would automatically rest on Tae's lap, Tae's hands would find their way to the other's hair. He had spent hours doing just that as the first few days after the wedding were full of uncertainty, stress and paperwork. Doing this would not only relax Kook, but it also worked as a grounding experience for Tae. He felt relaxed when the influx of oxytocin took a run through his body.
He kept going with his hands, making Kook look at him with gentleness in his eyes, then he asked.

"What made my strong, hulk of a husbun scared?" Tae asked, making the other one chuckle with amusement, with the Marvel reference. 

"Do you really want to know? It's going to be a long boring story." Kook asked, holding the other by his sides. 

"Hmm…  hurry up then, I only have a lifetime with you." Tae said cheekily. 

Kook ducked his head with amusement and content. He then took a deep breath and said, "Remember I mentioned a thing in my past which left me questioning everything and everyone around me?" 

"Mhm, I remember. But are you ready to talk about it? Do you trust me enough Kookie? Do you think I am worth sharing your secrets with? I don't want to push you into something you will regret later. " 

"What the fuck Tae? I literally am married to you. Glued to you all the time I am around. Even my mom thinks this is out of character for me. I am the most socially distant person, still I shared my whole lifetime's worth of experiences with you. Of course I trust you. Now you trust me, you are worth everything." Kook said while nuzzling in the brown blob of hair.

This made Tae giggle, he hugged the other tight, wrapping them both with a warm blanket of affection. "Otay, go on!" He said in a gibberish tone, making Kook relaxed even more.

"When I was a child, I was a happy, outgoing one. Back then along with Mike, we had a nanny and her son staying with us. They were from SK. My grandfather wanted me to have some cultural roots connecting to our heritage, so he had sent the nanny, especially from there, when I was just a toddler. Her son Sungho was 2 years older than me. We grew up together, Dad even admitted us both to the same school. So naturally we became closer. He was my best friend, more like a brother. And even the nanny, Soonmi was her name, loved me like her own.