Broken Road »» Rick Grimes (TWD)

Chapter 69

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"It's like a different world here." I told Rick as he handed me a bottle of water despite my refusals.

"It's an adjustment." He replied as he left the kitchen. I gripped the cold water bottle in my hand and followed him out of the kitchen and into the living room.

"Where's your girlfriend?" I asked, immediately regretting it as we sat on opposite couches.

"She's not my girlfriend." He answered, our eyes meeting.

I studied the fading bruise on his jaw before looking down at the water bottle I sat on the coffee table.

"Since we're alone, I guess now would be a good time to talk as any." He stated.

"Guess so." I mumbled.

"I made a mistake— the worst mistake of my life. I'm not excusing what I did, but I wasn't thinking straight. I had all of the guilt from what happened at Alexandria, I was jacked up on pain medicine at the hospital, and I let temptation take control. And because of my stupid mistake, not only are you hurting, but me and my kids are as well." He began to explain as he leaned forward on the couch.

"Did you have sex with her?" I inquired.

"Almost." He answered honestly.

"If you loved me as much as you said you did, why was it so easy for you to do that?" I questioned, staying much more calm than I thought I would be.

"I don't know, Jess. I wish I could go back and make different choices. I wish I could take it all back." He replied, looking into my eyes.

"I wish you could too." I replied, looking away from him.

"And I know I can't go back and fix it, but I would do anything to be able to. I'm sorry." He stated, standing up from the couch.

"Why are you wearing your ring?" I inquired.

"Whether we are together or not, whether we ever work things out or not— my heart still belongs to you. I don't want anyone else, ever. I know I broke that commitment and promise, but I still love you. I will always love you." He answered as he sat down on the edge of the coffee table in front of me.

"It's hard for me to believe that." I stated, feeling tears well up in my eyes as I looked at him.

"I know." He replied, nodding his head as he placed a hand on my knee.

"I hate this. I hate that you did that, I hate that we're broken up, I hate that we're separated in two different places, and I hate that I can't ever be happy." I ranted, feeling my anger slowly build.

"If you give me a second chance, I promise I won't screw this one up. I want to be with you, I want us to be together, I want to hold you every night and wake up to you every morning, I want us to work on our relationship and build it back stronger." He replied, his eyes glossing over as they looked into mine.

"We can't be together again and you know that." I sighed as I wiped the tears from my cheeks.

"Do you love me?" He asked, wiping my tear away with his thumb.

"Yes." I answered as he placed his hands over mine.

"Then we can work through this. We can fix this. It'll be hard, but if anyone can do it, we can. I know I fucked up and I'll never forgive myself for hurting you like I have, and I don't blame you if you don't want me back." He replied as his hands gripped onto mine as if I was going to fly away.

"I'll be honest. Right now, I just want us to be civil. I don't want anything more than that. Everything is too fresh and it hurts." I replied.

"I understand." He replied, nodding his head.