The line was silent for a while. It was so loud yet I knew he was on the other end of the line.
When I closed my eyes I could almost see his outline. The outline of him in my mind's eye would ripple every time I heard him breathe.
"When I get home, i'll come straight to you," I said, breaking our silence.
The outline of him rippled.
"or you come to me, whoevers fast enough.." I made sure he heard the smile in my voice. I spotted the bus. It made its way slowly up the hill.
Those last couple moments felt so strange and surreal.
The bus made its way towards me, and jin's little laugh after I finished. It was strange, like something out of a book. Like this moment was written. (haha)
"You wait for me" I whispered into the phone, before ending the call. My mind now set on home.
-
Home wasn't far. But it wasn't close. It was in the irritating middle way. Too far to regularly visit but short enough for it to be still light when you got there.
Jeewoo was sat on the steps of the appartement a cigarette in his hand as he watched the neighbours string up Christmas lights.
Rolled my eyes as i approached. I thought i beat that habit out of him... Only space for one smoker in this family.
"oi, dickhead" I hissed, kicked his knee. He hadn't yet seen me, too distracted by the public hanging of santa.
"gimme that" I pulled the thing out of his hands, throwing it on the floor.
He looked like a kicked puppy.
"hey-"
"don't look at me like that. Told you to do that when I'm not around- wasting these on you?" i scoffed
"you weren't around-" he tried to fight, but he saw the look on my face. He sighed, smoke coming out and billowing onto my shirt.
Jeewoo sighed and handed me the box
"you'd steal them anyway" he pouted, before he tried to run off, his tail between his legs.
"ah ah ah-" I grabbed his bag.
"-and never smoke in your uniform, it will linger. Rookie mistake."
He seemed to not have heard, but he's a liar.
"ahh you never listen" i slung my arm around him, even though the smell was still there.
"You'll die early. And that's embarrassing, so don't" I yawned, flicking his forehead.
He groaned.
I felt slightly guilty, yet it is my duty. Im hypocritical.
"Is the threat still in the lift?" I said, gesturing to the iron doors ahead. Referring to the death threats a neighbour had graffitied inside. Aimed at me.
I didn't wait for a response. "don't care ain't going. Can't have my face ruined. It's my greatest asset."
"sure it is. Along with all the rubbish you chat. Must get you everywhere!" He tried to kick the back of my knees but I'm not blind.
"says the smoker whose lifelong dream is to play basketball-" I snickered and ran upstairs before he threw a table.
The true art of siblings is the insults that make no sense.
I beat the jeewoo to the door. I would have waited for him if it wasn't for the gift of seeing my mum again.
"mum-" i yelled, pushing through. the hallway had gotten piled with more books. Confused as I tried not to trip on what seemed someone's entire life collection.
"mum-" I called again, finally out of the hallway, but my foot caught onto someone's bag and I fell into the coffee table.
I think I chipped my tooth, but that was the least of my worries.
"you're such an idiot." I heard jeewoo from the hallway. I finally tried to lift my head but I was winded
"don't be horrible" I heard her voice. It was hoarse. Not like she hadn't spoken in hours, more like she hadn't stopped talking ever since she got home.
"mum-" I saw her slippers first. The butterfly slippers she had gotten one year for mother's day. She refused to throw them away, even when the fifth hole appeared.
I jumped up, feeling suddenly light headed.
She beamed, her arms outstretched like she had them there the whole time.
It was nice. That moment often replays in my head again and again in the years to come. The healthiest she's ever looked. And the happiest.
I pulled her into a hug. I suddenly felt more human than I had in weeks. I wasn't an idol, a coworker, a friend. I was her son. And that was possibly the best feeling I had felt in months.
A feeling of being unconditionally loved, not having to prove myself. But also the feeling of having her back, that she was ok, that she was smiling.
"Mum" I mumbled, burying my head into her carigen. I could feel tears coming to my eyes, but today, it was out of happiness.
"oh my days bro he's such a cry baby" i heard jeewoo in the kitchen going through the cupboards "always has been bro i can't"
"Why does he speak like that?" I heard dowoons voice, his tongue ready to lash out and make snarky comments. While jeewoo insulted me, dowoon insulted jeewoo. There's no respect in our trio.
"shush shush-" mum huffed, not letting me go.
"jisungs always been a bit sensitive, it's alright-" She fussed. I cringed but something about it made me not mind.
"Mummy's boy"
(a/n. i cannot believe i updated.
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