Starman | BTS 8th Member | *ੈ✩‧₊˚(editing)

85.

She recognised me as her son and I liked the small feeling it gave me.

"ok thank you" was all i could say before my mind was set on leaving the dorm.

I hardly remember any of it. My socks were probably inside out and my t-shirt back to front but I couldn't care less.

I was out of my bedroom in what felt like seconds. I had never felt better. I tripped over half way to the door, but it never left my gaze.

My bag was falling off my shoulders in my haste. "jisung what the hell are you doing? '' I had been dragged out of my daze. I was so consumed with happiness, the day I had been praying for was now here.

I was quite bothered that someone was talking to me amidst my haste. "you can't-"

" i'll explain later" I didn't recognise who was talking as that wasn't important, i didn't look up as i was tucking my shoe laces into my shoes.

I leapt out the door before whoever it was could catch me and put me back into bed like some fragile old man.

I was sprinting out the house, thumberling with my mask.

Though I knew I couldn't see her often, the thought of her being somewhere comfortable and not as grim as a hospital was extremely comforting.

If i didn't stop, i could have crashed into the bus stop. I always had a problem when slowing down, especially as i wasnt a good runner.

The bus, not known for its punctuality, put a hole in my new found joy. I groaned in impatience.

"stupid" i cursed and i kicked the seat impulsively. But I soon recoiled, headlines of "jang jisung bts newest member seen damaging public property" flashed before my eyes so i soon sat down in fear. I still had to catch my breath from running.

My phone was ringing again. Seokjin

I grimaced. He must be who I ran past and ignored.

"hello" i wasn't sure what to say.

It finally came crashing down, the months of hiding and keeping secrets were quickly coming to an end and I wasn't prepared. Even if it wasn't ending now it would be soon.

"where the hell did you go- what is up with you- get back here-"

Jin was shouting. He probably didn't realise it but he was. His voice is deep so when it's projected I get chills.

"um-" my chest had tightened as I tried to fix my breathing.

"i have- um i have to be somewhere, family emergency y'know-" i rambled on. Not sure if what I said even made sense. Was I allowed to go out like this?

"right" was all he said.

Is he angry? I can't read his voice...

I coughed, feeling awkward. I wasn't entirely sure how to Act again. My thumb hover on the red button. It danced around in my fuzzy vision. I hadn't put my glasses on.

"jisung, come back will you..?" he whispered, as if he was hiding under his blanket like we were two 'friends' calling in the dead of night.

"what- of course i will- i mean when i can-" i felt slightly mortified that he didn't think I would return.

"Why wouldn't i?" I said slightly softer, comforting him even though he might be feeling delusional.

"i don't know...I just had a horrible feeling that you wouldn't come back." he sounded slightly ashamed. I could hear something in his voice and I wondered if there was any other reason.