chapter-14

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Pov - jessica

When we arrive, It is already night. I ring the doorbell and is surprised at who answers.
Dad must have called her.
‘ always dad’s favourite’ she states, then punches me in the back, ‘why didn’t you tell me he was here fucker’
‘ I was about to’ I say in pain. ‘ when did you come?’
‘ not too long ago. Now come inside, consider this you house.and hi noah’ she signalls us to come inside.  It was then when she opens the door that I see she is wearing an apron and a white t shirt and legging under it.
Noah sits on the couch in the living room, still sweating from all the running. I peek a little into the kitchen before going to fresh myself. Dad is there, baking something. So emma must had been here to help him..or to surprise me.
Either ways, I am happy.
I wash my face then turn off the saufet. I look in the mirror to find my hair is a mess. I just open my hair and comb them into a messy bun.
Then I enter the living room to find noah and dad talking,shaking hands. Men,  I amuse.
I wck in the kitchen to find emma standing by the kitchen counter. Before I open my mouth to say anything, she blabbers,’ I told your dad about mia’
I look at her in astonishment before she says again,’ I know it would have been hard for you to tell him that so I did that for you.you were planning on telling him.right?’
‘ yes but’ I whisper,’ I didn’t expect you to tell him’ I pour myself cold water from the refrigerator and gulp it down my throat. I didn’t realize how thirsty I was.
‘ I shouldn’t have?’ she looks at me in concern.
‘no- I mean-‘ I shake my head and go towards her, ‘ thanks. I was just surprised that’s it. but-thanks so much’
I am genuinely thankful, I don’t even know how I would have explained it to dad.
She smiles,’ now no need to thank’
Then I ask her about dad’s reaction, she answers vaguely, aware of my sensitivity . ‘ and not that much of a reaction. So don’t worry. He said he might help’ she finishes and then looks  over my shoulder before squeezing on it and leaving. I  look in her direction to find papa standing there.
He smiles, then enters inside, wears gloves and takes something out of the oven- a cake- I realize as I smell the delicious aroma of it. chocolate.
‘ its good isn’t it?’ he grins,revealing that old smile mom fell in love with.
‘ its amazing’
‘ we’ll decorate it with vanilla frosting.and I cooked a lot other stuff. Emma helped me but I cooked for the most part’ he says with pride. I pat him on the back,’ I know. My dad’s a great cook’
He now faces me and puts his hand on my shoulder, his expression now dim, ‘ emma told me about what happened with your friend.i’m sorry jessi’
I look at the ground,at the green tiles and in dad’s light brown eyes. ‘ I’m fine dad’ I smile.
His throat bobs and he says,’ I can help you- if you’re working on finding that. An old friend of mine,he’s a cop. He might be of help?’
I nod for dad’s satisfaction. ‘ now lets forget it and-‘ I take out an empty plate from the kitchen tray and place it on the counter. ‘ have a little fun time’
He nods and smiles..just a bit.
We work together. Dad covers the cake with vanilla frosting while I bake cookies. That is for the sweet part. While dad’s special coffee and sandwiches are waiting to be eaten .i peek from the kitchen to the living room, emma nods  with a sign that states, don’t worry about us, take as much time you want. Noah is busy on his phone.
Then I go back to look at the cake, dad has always loved baking, no doubt that’s why he’s  always been good at it. he now covers it with chocolate pieces and some cookies. ‘ almost done’ he mouths. He then nods towards the sandwiches,’ serve them, I’d join in a minute’
I take the tray and walk towards the living room, placing it on the table. Noah is still busy with his phone, emma peeks at it.
he finally takes me in notice and looks up, then at the sandwiches and grins,”thanks” then takes one while still staring at his phone. When he realizes I am still standing, he says,”oh its mellisa” then he takes a bite and says in pleasure,” its great” then looks back at his phone, “ she’s asking me if I found anything. I just messaged her the recording”
“what recording?” emma takes interest, grabbing a sandwich.
“ we found one – it’s a long story. And noah, send me too”
“aight”
Emma sips her coffee,then finds me looking at her.”what?” she blurts.
“ come upstairs”
She lookes at me in confusion, then shrugs her shoulders and follows me. “ tell dad we are upstairs. We’ll come in a minute”
He nods while typing.
“ don’t tell me you did some weird shit “ she says while walking up the stairs
“that’s your thing” I chuckles.
“ha, very funny”
Upstairs is  nothing but just a big,huge room and a balcony which faces the back of the house.i take her there.
We face the backyard, the grass has overgrown, the trees have grown huge. The moonlight shines in the dark night above us, with little stars sparkling.
I let myself feel the view for a moment.
She looks at the sky, admires the view then says back to me , “ what is it now? Everything’s allright?”
“yes” I hold the wooden railing.
she looks at me in concern.
I laugh, “ don’t worry” then stare at her, “ I just wanted to thank you “
She stare at me in confusion , then shakes her head, “ what do you mean?”
How do I tell her that I’ve never felt this fresh before, the way I’m actually living. “ i-“ I look at the moon, “ I just am, I am realising now, how granted I took you guys. And now I’m actually living , and I just wanted to thank you- for everytime, and everything”
Her blue eyes look deep and dark in the night, she holds my palm and whispers, staring directly at me “ you don’t have to thank” it seems like she wants to say more but her eyes flutter and she lets go of me, softly.
“ I love you, you know that right?”
Her words turn me numb.
I knew if we ever lose each other, the world would be a living hell but never did we say it out loud like that.
“ you were there for me when nobody was” she continues, “ and in school-“ she winces, “ forget that “
“wait” I interrupt, “ what happened in school emma?”
She sighs, “ nothing. that doesn’t matter now. Okay?” she continues, “anyways, thankyou you too”
While I was still registering her words, dad calls. She turns to walk but I stop her, “ and one more thing”
“yeah?”
“ I’m dating drake”
Something whisks in her, but she just gazes at me with her gleaming eyes,” I knew it” she chuckles.
I hit her in the ribs, “ bullshit” then I say, “ I’d expected you to screech or something “
She rolls her eyes , “ I would have but right now, I don’t want your dad to think I’m a sociopath”
before we can talk more, dad calls again,with a warning this time, “ come downstairs or I’ll finish everything, so will noah!”
She looks at me with all seriousness, “ this can wait but food can’t” then rushes downstairs.
I glance for the last time at the dark sky before going downstairs.

***

‘I had fun tonight papa. Thankyou’  I whisper to dad while placing the dishes in the sink as he cleaned them.  Noah and emma leaved 30 minutes ago, the latter gave me a tight hug.
‘ I owe you a lot’ he sideglances at me, then smiles.
I just look at the floor,  at my feet.
Dad washes the last plate and places it into the cupboard, then orders me to check if the doors are locked. I do as he says, then follow after him to the room where mom and him slept in.
The curtains are green with brown wooden floor, I rarely enter this room.it is a bit dirty.
Dad sits on the bed and observes the room before turning to me, ‘ go sleep. Its late’
I stand there, itching my elbow,’ but you’ve come over after so long. I wanna talk’
‘ about what?’ he says while brushing the bedsheet and blanket.
‘ about mom’ I finally say it.
We had to face it one day.
He stops his movements, then looks up at me with..frightened eyes? His shoulders droop and his adam’s apple bulges.
‘papa?’
He turns away, back to fixing the blanket. I reach forward and hold his hand,’ its enough. We have to talk about this’
He doesn’t look at me but just stares at the wall,’ what are you talking about?’ his voice is harsh.
I let my hold go and sit infront of him, forcing him to face me.’ how you’ve given up on life after mom’s accident’
He closes his eyes, brows furrowed. then, he grunts before standing and taking me by my hand to the room where I last went to play the piano.
The key clicks into the lock and the door opens. Revealing all the haunted memories. He then shoves me inside. There is no light in this room, every bulb is broken. The only way I can see the room is because of the light from the living room.
‘ now tell me’ he raises his voice a bit higher, in authority,’ do you have to courage to face these?’
He points to the photoframes  hanging on the wall, which are now filled with dirt and webs. He takes me over to the bookshelf with all the books mom used to sing to me at night. He picks up mom’s and his love letters with shaky hands.
He finally looks over to the piano. His eyes are watery, even in the dark, I can sense that.
‘ I am not that strong jessi’ he sits on the ground,’ I am not a good father. I’m sorry’
I didn’t mean to do this. I just wanted to make dad happier, to make him realize life’s still joyful.
I bend and hold his hands,’ I didn’t- you’re a GREAT FATHER. The bestest of the best. I- I just wanted to..see you happier.not this’
Maybe I’m lying, he’s not the best father. I still hold grudges against him- the way he left me/
But maybe we can foget that and move on.
He sighs, then pinches the space between his brow,’ we both needed therapy’
‘ but it’s the past now’ I say,’ forget it, papa. We’re still lucky. I have you’
He rubs his eyes then stands back up. I do the same.
He stares at me for a moment then smiles. The wrinkles on his face blends with the new charisma. ‘ I’ll try’
I grin wide, the pain of the past still aching inside of me. but I ignore that. Instead, I hug him. ‘ we will start fresh’
‘ I’ll try’ he nods and pats me on the back.
I pull back after a few minutes
His face is still sad but it is better than before.
We close the door, not locking it this time. Dad walks to his room but stops in his track by my voice,’ try to sleep peacefully today. Sweet dreams’
He doesn’t turn. I just see his droopy back as he says for the third time,’ I’ll try’ he then goes inside and closes the door.
I amble in my room. I was about to switch off the light but remember the recording. I’ll have to see it. I switch on  my laptop on my study table and transfer the video file to it.
Then I play it.
For the first few minutes, nothing happens. just silence in the dusky night. The recording shows the time, 8:59.
Mia was reported to be found at 9:30.
The silence continues. Only a street dogs comes into view and he too, runs away after a few seconds.
The view of mia’s apartment is not whole, the balcony is only half visible. So I’ll not be able to find the suspect if I don’t find anything here.
Something in the recording shifts,its 9:10. I see someone in mia’s balcony,only the legs are visible. Perhaps that’s mia herself?
Is it that she really did commit suicide?
Was I wrong the whole time?
I almost lose my hope but the recording shifts again. And that’s when I see someone in the street. I can’t identify its gender, a person wearing a black hoodie and black pants with black mask.
Wholly black.
I zoom in but its too far to even identify the person. It goes towards the building and enters something- a password perhaps and goes inside.
Silence lingers again.
Maybe it was just a member of the apartment? Who came late at night?
The recording blurs and ends. Leaving nothing but black screen infront of me. I remember the renter telling me that electricity had gone from 9:15 to 10 pm.
That can’t be a coincidence.
I replay the video again and again until I get it memorized.
I get to a conclusion.
If I’m right, the person must know or be close to mia cause he knows the id to the apartment building.
And the electricity must have been cut by him too. It can’t be just a coincidence.
Its either this or I’m totally wrong.
I text noah to find he’s been watching the recording too. We discuss it for a long time until I glance at the clock and realize its too late.
I switch off the lights and go to sleep.

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