chapter-1

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For everyone who's afraid of themselves,
This story is for you



Chapter 1

She committed suicide.
I remember how her face glowed as she talked in charisma just days before. But now- she's gone.
I sense a crippling feeling on my shoulder, I turn back to see-
" Jessica "
"my god, Emma. you scared me" I say, wiping off my sweat. I gaze towards my bestfriend, at her ocean blue eyes and straight brown hair.
"my fault, sorry. Heard of something new?" her voice is serene as she speaks.
"no, not right now."
I look around me, at the little crowd of mia's university classmates gathered at her apartment. Her body was found yesterday night, the news had spread that she'd jumped off her balcony. My gaze shifts towards the 'do not enter' tape near the balcony, then at the bright painted yellow walls, she really liked the colour.
Mia.
Her name chants in my mind on its own.
a close friend of mine, a well etiquette girl.
Mia. I close my eyes.
She was like the fluoresce sunflower in a garden of searing flowers, the glistening light in the dark of shadows, the soft vocal in a rap song.
I'd just been getting to know her yet her aura was mesmerizing. She'd carved a place into my list of intellectual beings- so much that I felt my heart aching when I heard what happened.
But what confuses is the one question. everyone else seems to think the same, why did she suicide?
" it happened so suddenly" emma whispers in my ear.
"I know. I really want to know why mia-" I stop midway, even if I had not known mia for much long, it still stings-hurts.
" its okay."
I nod.
Emma has always been my greatest friend, always comforting me, being with me in my most difficult times. though we are quiet difference in appearance, with her being the voluptuous beauty while I stand tall and sturdy in basic clothing along my hazel eyes and wavy black hair. We met in high school and entered the same university, times got hard in between but we helped each other, quite an unbreakable bond.

I shift my focus back to reality, I'm worried about this death.
I still can't seem to believe that- mia killed herself.
She studied in our college and was considered an outstanding student. I can't remember seeing her depressed- or even sad. in fact, She was the one who consoled me whenever I remembered my mom .
Afterall, She was the only one who could understand the loss of a mother, for she was an orphan.
When the disastrous news of her death reached my ears ,I felt nothing. it was pure emptiness, swallowing me whole. what I wanted to was cry or shout or scream but all I ended up doing was stare wide eyed at the wall.
And now when I am in her apartment, with dozen other students, I feel the air choking, the smell nauseous. No death I have ever known, was this confusing.
Not even my mother's death, she died in a car accident when I was 16. I wasn't able to see her body. I didn't really care much at the time for I was swallowed by the pain of losing her. but now- I wish I could see her.
I shift my thoughts back to the scene, I can think about that later.
"you fine?"
" yeah I'm fine" I lie but I bet she knows.
Before emma can say anything further, her phone rings. She signals me to wait and leaves, going downstairs.
I observe the remaining parts of the building. Mia lived on the top floor, the kitchen is inside to the right, the living room and bedroom to the left. The open hall, where I stand is huge.
Ironically, her home sparks of positivity.
As I look around, I find someone standing next to a wall, in complete black, arms crossed. He has messy dark hair and seems taller than me. I can't make out the colour of his eye from here.
I keep staring at him, trying to make out his face. While doing so, I unknowingly walk closer to him.
he finds me looking at him.
"sorry-" I say, immediately turning away, hiding my chagrin. I notice nobody else is paying any attention to him. so, it was just me.
I cringe at myself.
" are you OK?" the sudden voice makes me jump, I shift to see its him, standing right next to me with his honey coloured eyes.
"by the way I'm drake" he smiles, offering his hand. I just nod.
Drake, this name feels kind of familiar.
"hi, I'm Jessica" I reply, looking at him. he sure is striking, with his sharp jaw and hunter eyes, " and I'm sorry for looking at you, I was-"
"jess" emma's loud voice interrupts me..and the whole crowd.
She walks towards me, " Who were you talking to?"
"were?" I look behind me expecting to find drake but there's no one.
Strange.
She shakes her head, " anyways, we need to go. It's going to be night in to time." She takes out her car keys from her pocket, " I'll be waiting downstairs "
We talk for a minute arguing if she has fuel in her car, turns out she has, then I finally let her go.
"your friend?"
I jolt at the voice.
" for god sake, Stop scaring me." I snap at drake.
he grimaces, " I didn't mean to, really, I swear"
I let myself have a clear sight of him, " where did you go when-"
" had to pee" he says before I can complete my sentence.
" do I know you? And, am I the only one who's confused here?" I say while shifting towards the wall by my side for support. I'm tired, emotionally and physically.
"nah, Its just the vibe, ya know" he whispers, not answering my first question.
"I've never seen you before. Are you her-i mean mia's neighbour?" I ask again.
" not a neighbour. I study in the same university she did"
I never saw him in uni before but who knows? I am not going to bother asking his major or shit like that, the current moment is depressing enough.
"She was a close friend of mine" I say enough to let him have the idea.
" I miss her" he breaks the silence.
Mia was beautiful a redhead with gorgeous green eyes, plump lips and a beautiful personality.There is no doubt many guys liked her. I look at him, is it that-
"did you had a liking to her?" I speak without thinking twice.
He shakes his head, laughs for a second then smiles. But it isn't a happy smile- a peculiar one.
" I'll see you later" he says and leaves me alone, by myself.
I wonder what he was thinking.

" want to drive?" emma asks, swinging the key of her car in her fingers.
"no,I'm good" I throw myself in the passenger seat. The sky is purple, surrounded by the pinkish tints with the orange sun setting down. As if someone painted the sky. The buildings around are tall, mostly flats or apartments. beneath the roads and highways, lay the beautiful mountains and cliffs in Hillsboro. Oregon isn't much bad of a state.
" a tiring day, man" emma sighs, as she sits too, stretching her arms.
" a tiring day indeed" I say back.
The engine roars. I'm thankful for its loud noise, all I need for now is distraction. I sideglance at emma, who's busy with the car.
" so, what are your plans for tomorrow?" I ask her
" Plans? Tommorow's Sunday."
Ofcourse. In her dialect, it means sleeping all day, eating, chilling.
Not that I don't like the idea but my college might have probably sent me a thousands of projects.
What a life.
"hey" emma nudges my elbow, " stop making that serious ass face. Here, wanna have some doughnuts?" she hands me a pack.
I stuff my mouth with one of the doughnuts and mumble, "where did you get them?"
She smirks.
"oh , cmon. Don't tell me you flirted with some random dude for this"
"doughnuts are life, jess Don't insult them" she grabs one from the pack.
We talk as she drives, about college, life, food, everything except mia. Its too much of a- vexation, to bring that up.
I look out of the window and feel the fresh breeze touch my skin. the moon follows me along. I've always loved it- the moon. How it stays with me in the darkest of nights, the loneliest ones.
And perhaps, everyone has that one fellow being. The moon, the stars, the skies, the clouds, the rain. The ones with whom they feel the most comfort.
I ponder about the day and then specifically, about the 2 minute talk I had with the strange, golden eyed guy. I shift my vision back to emma and tell her about him.
" he's probably taller than me, has beautiful eyes, bronze skin-
" but what's his name?" she says casually.
" oh - he's called drake-"
Before I can complete the sentence, the car screeches, the horn beeps and I scream.
I do not see anything Until the car stops, infront of a huge tree. Just one more second and we might have crashed. I try to calm my huffing breathe, then look at emma who's hands are shaking, gripping the wheel tight.
" what the fuck " I yell, out of breathe. My ears are still ringing from the sudden mischance. I chunk down litres of water from my bottle, clearing my vision and mind.
When I'm finally calm, I look at emma again, I shake her shoulders but she doesn't say a word.
" emma?"
What's wrong with her? she'd never act so anxious with something like this.
" hey?" I wave my hand infront of her but she doesn't move.
I turn to look at the road, its empty. Neither had I seen a truck or any car come our way. then why did she lose control- all of a sudden?
" I feel ill." She finally speaks, her arms are cold when I touch them. I can feel her goosebumps, " You can drive to your home. I'll take a bus"
She has to be out of her mind to think of that. We're right in the middle of a road, an absolute empty road.
" that's not happening." I declare, " what happened to you?"
She just gives me an expression which says, do not worry about me.
Then She doesn't answer but leaves the car.










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