Mindlessly, my hand reached up from beside me, my fingertips begging for just a touch. My hands craved to feel the body made perfectly for mine, to feel every curve and every dip, to feel every scar that illustrated the path he took to get to me. My...
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~•~
Here it was.
The moment I've dreamed about nonstop for the past few months.
I never thought I'd see it again if I'm honest. The little garden in the corner, the flow of people coming in and out of the pack house, the kids running up and down the field on their daily walk, the familiar faces all roaming about working or socializing.
Standing before the territory felt like a dream coming to life before my eyes, but at the same time it felt like my greatest nightmare.
I abandoned these people. My people. I left them behind.
I could try and convince myself it was for a good reason, even if it really was for a good one, but it doesn't rid of the guilt that I felt of abandoning not only the people I was supposed to lead, but the people I was supposed to love.
"It's going to be okay, Gray." Sherri reassured me, grabbing my hand comfortingly. I gripped her hand just as tight, needing the encouragement to get through my pity party.
"Everything's going to be fine." Johnny said, ruffling my hair. "Jordan will be so excited to see you."
I nodded, swallowing the slight lump in my throat and blinked away the tears that tried to make its way down my cheeks. "What if he hates me?"
"He could never hate you." Tyler said. "Is he hurt? Yes. But once you explain, he'll understand."
I nodded once more, letting out a shaky breath as I shook away the nerves. "Okay." I exhaled. "I'm ready."
The second I began walking through the courtyard, eyes began to land on me. It was hard to determine most of the looks of their faces, but as people began to catch on, they began to smile. My shoulders sunk in relief as people began to greet me happily, hi Luna! and Luna, you're back! was a common cheer amongst the crowd, not a sour face in sight.
I nearly cried out in relief as I made my way towards the pack house, greeting and hugging whoever chose to come forward. I couldn't stop the smile on my face nor could I stop the tears in my eyes, but I didn't care.
"Told you." Tyler chuckled, ruffling my hair as he gave me a side hug. I let out a watery chuckle, shoving him away as we made our way up the stairs of the pack house.
"Luna!" A voice called before I was scooped up and spun around suddenly. I giggled as I recognized the gentle face standing beside him.
"Hi Marek!" I exclaimed happily as he finally set me back on the floor. "Hi Judith!" I said, giving her a gentle hug.
"We're so happy to see you back, Luna." Judith said with a smile.
"I'm glad to be back." I replied with a light laugh.
Getting through the kitchen and living room of the pack house was much the same, familiar faces stopping to give me hugs and kind welcoming words. At one point Aston even came from training the warriors just to give me a bruising hug, one that reassured me even more that my return was welcomed.
It had taken quite a bit but eventually I was standing outside the door of the bedroom I previously occupied, Johnny and Tyler by my side. I gripped the doorknob, ready to walk in and see the one person I have yet to greet.
I shut my eyes, inhaling and exhaling shakily as I readied myself for whatever Jordan I would be facing when I opened the door. He could be angry, unwilling to listen to any excuse I had to offer or he could welcome me with open arms. But after Lance left, I knew how hurt he was. And I knew my departure hurt him even further.
Deciding not to prolong it any longer I pushed open the door, eyes landing on Jordan. His gaze immediately met mine the second I stepped into the room, a mixture of emotions overwhelming his face as he stood from the bed, unmoving. I held my breath, my heart pounding in my chest as the deafening silence tore me down bit by bit. I tightened my sweaty hands around the fabric of my jacket, staring at the boy I held so close to my heart.
He looked so different yet so familiar, his dark raven hair done nicely in a quiff and his face clearer than before. His clothes seemed to fit him a bit tighter, face more sculpted and his stance slightly more confident.
It felt like hours of silence before he simply sighed, expression exhausted from the impossible range of emotions he must've been feeling, and said. "Just tell me why."
My heart ached at his words, the hurt in his eyes making me tear up. "Okay."
"You have superpowers?" Jordan exclaimed, eyes wide and at full attention.
"That's what I said!" Johnny shouted, glad someone had the same reaction as he did.
I giggled aloud, my heart warming as I watched the innocent young boy I've known so closely amongst the years come back to life before my eyes. For a minute there I thought I'd never see him again, but after I told him why I left he seemed to be more understanding, though I could sense there was still a barrier between us.
"I just wanted to keep all of you safe." I whispered. "I couldn't let you guys meet the same fate my pack did."
Jordan's smile faded back into the distant look he had when I first came in, my heart dropping as I felt the anxiety come back full force. I looked towards Tyler and Johnny in panic, but they settled me with a look.
"How come you didn't tell us sooner?"
At his question, both Tyler and Johnny looked towards me, wanting to hear my explanation. I looked down at the floor, stunned by the question I hadn't expected to answer so soon. What he was asking was valid, but I didn't even know where to begin.
"I was scared." I admitted, the weight on my chest deepening as I watched my tears fall onto the hardwood floor. "I guess I kept all of it to myself for so long that I didn't know how to tell anyone else. It's such a heavy secret, I didn't want anyone else to have bare it." I sniffled, all of my emotions coming forth as Tyler rubbed my back comfortingly. "It's not your burden to carry, it's mine. Whoever knows anything about me or has anything to do with me pays a price. I couldn't let you guys, you've already suffered enough."
"The last thing I wanted to do was leave you guys. You're the only family I have left." I said through my tears. "But that's also the exact reason why I had to go."
Through my tears, I realized that Jordan was now kneeling before me, trying to look at me through the confines of my hands. He gently took my wrists, prying my hands from my face before pulling me into his arms, holding me tightly. I began to sob harder in a mix of relief, happiness, guilt and sadness, gripping his shirt out of desperation.
"We got you, Gray." He whispered gently into my hair, gripping me even tighter. "We got you."
Before I knew it, Tyler and Johnny joined in on the hug, our mess of limbs and tears soon turning into a dog pile of laughter. Tears continued to fall and hearts continued to ache but it was the bittersweet essence of a new beginning that brought us back to the family we've always been.
"I love you guys so much." I sniffled, tightening my arms around any mess of limbs I could get ahold of. "To fucking pluto."
