Mindlessly, my hand reached up from beside me, my fingertips begging for just a touch. My hands craved to feel the body made perfectly for mine, to feel every curve and every dip, to feel every scar that illustrated the path he took to get to me. My...
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I always think about how easy humans must have it when it comes to love.
They date who they want, kiss who they want, have sex with who they want, marry who they want. They make all of their decisions for themselves. They pick the road they want to follow. They design their life.
Once they find the one they want, it's as simple as having sex and putting a ring on their finger. Then, they're life partners. Forever lovers.
A Lycan's greatest blessing was also a greatest curse. Having a mate, though a privilege, is also a burden.
You'll kill him. Just like you did your father. My Mom had said to me every time she caught me crying over the idea of rejecting my mate. You can't be selfish. Your fate is sealed, his isn't. You have to let him go.
I'm his fate. I used to tell her. The Moon Goddess puts mates together for a reason. We're meant to be together for a reason.
And what was her reason for sticking your Dad with me? She used say, in a chillingly cold voice. So he'd die a pointless death? If he wasn't paired with me, he'd be alive right now. Do you want your mate to meet the same fate?
No. I don't.
The Moon Goddess put me and Caleb together for a reason that I'll never get to know.
And it broke me.
I'll never get to know how his hands memorize the surface of my skin. I'll never feel his lips on mine or be able to calm just at his touch. I'll never get to know what makes us fight the most or what heals our relationship through the broken. I'll never get to know his flaws or what my strengths do to help me love them. I'll never get to know any of it.
My head knew it. My heart knew it. But for some reason, my body didn't.
My body still ached for his touch, to be drowned by every inch of him. To feel the type of fire we could make between two flames. To feel that foreign sense of safety he'd made me feel with just his presence.
To feel him, even if just a second.
~
"You look peachy." Colin chuckled once I stepped into the kitchen, the boys trailing closely behind me.
After being welcomed during dinner the other night, we had become a lot more comfortable coming out during mealtimes with the other pack members. They had all graciously honored me as their Luna, much to my protest, and seemed to be much more comfortable with the idea of 5 rogues staying on their territory. Maybe it was our age or maybe because half of us didn't give off very intimidating auras, but everyone was very welcoming and we were fitting in well. The boys hit it off with a lot of the other people their age and even Johnny seemed to be warming up to his mate a bit. It was turning out better than I could've ever hoped.
