The Unknown Subject [Spencer Reid x OC]

XXIV

TW: implications of pedophilia

It's been nearly a week since I saw Spencer again and I cannot stop thinking about it. Not only am I thinking about what actually happened, but I'm thinking about everything I didn't say or things I wish I could tell him, but I've already missed my chance. I didn't tell him how much I love him, not that he would believe me anyway. After being in his line of work he probably doesn't think I'm capable of such feelings. I didn't get to apologize either, not for what I've done but for how much it hurt him after finding out. I wish I had the pleasure of knowing when I got to see him next, but he hasn't contacted me since.

All I've been looking at for the past week has been that photo he gave me. I make sure to keep it under my pillow, away from the other inmates. The chances of someone who isn't me or a guard coming into my cell are slim but I don't want to take the chance of someone taking the photo from me. Most of the girls are nice enough, considering we're in a correctional facility, but not all of them are in here for petty, low profile crimes. Until I can make the distinction between who those people are and who I need to worry about, the picture stays in my cell.

It's about lunch time now, they'll be calling us to eat any minute. Despite being on death row, I get to eat with the general population of the prison. The guards like me enough to make that exception for me. Normally when I'm in my cell, I'm reading or drawing, and in the past week, I've clipped the picture Spencer gave me to the corner of whatever I'm doing, just so I can look at it whenever I need to. As I'm just finishing up a sketch in my notebook, my cell door opens and Nala comes in to get me.

She takes a small step into my cell so sh can get my attention, "Lunch time, Ivy!" she chirps, "They're serving Borscht today!"

I shoot up in disbelief, closing my book and tucking it under my arm, "Are you pulling my leg? The best food we get is lasagna, and I swear I heard some of the girls saying there's horse meat in it."

Nala chuckles, "I can assure you it's not horse meat."

I sigh in relief.

"It's donkey, actually."

My eyes open wide in horror but she just laughs.

"Relax, Ivy. I'm joking." She assures me, "And I'm not sure if it's actual Borscht, but that's what they're serving it as."

I reluctantly stand up and roll my eyes, "I don't know why I thought it would actually be Borscht." I say as I begin walking with her towards the cafeteria, "It will probably just be beet soup with some carrots in it."

"And donkey meat, you know, for protein." She winks at me as she opens the bars to the cafeteria.

I gag a bit at the thought, but I know she's just messing around. At least I think so, I can never tell with her. We step into the large room and the sliding door closes behind us, making a blaring beep noise as it does. The cafeteria is pretty full, everyone is sitting with their normal people, which is a good sign. I leave Nala to guard the door and I make my way into the food line. The food always has a very strong smell to it, and out of all the meals I've had this one smells the least like feet so far. I grab a tray and slide it along as I grab pre-portioned food onto it, a scoop of potatoes and some green beans. Finally I reach the end of the line and grab a bowl of stew, which barely has any colour in it, especially when It's supposed to be a deep magenta and not a muted purple. I leave the line and head to the end table where I normally sit, everybody pretty much just leaves me alone.