Fundamentals of Marriage | Suarez I

Chapter 38

We've been apart for how many years. We are in the same city and yet I could only see him through the news or magazines. I could only look up the building of his empire and be proud of his success.

It's been seven years since he loved me and he could've moved on from everything we had while I'm still stuck in the fairytale in my imagination that I know is impossible to happen because he doesn't want me anymore.

The hope I was feeling arrived from my conclusions and daydreams that he still love me because he cares. Turned out he's just good at hiding grudges as good as how I hide the pain I feel when he looks at me with an insignificant gaze.

"I despise cheaters the most."

I lost count of how many times his voice echoed in my head repeatedly. I fought the urge to stand and defend myself from the definitions of me in their minds. It hurt more because I know I did not cheat on him but he still believe I did.

"Cheaters don't deserve a second chance. Don't you all agree?" Evo drank a glass of beer.

"Yeah."

"I thought they do," ani Franco kaya natingin sa kaniya lahat.

"If I love someone, I can close my eyes not to see what she did. I can turn a blind eye or drown myself to forget the past and keep going." He chuckled. "But how can you fight for someone determined to leave you and choose someone else anyway?"

He was not looking at me anymore but the words hurt me each time I will find an opportunity to keep my pieces compact.

I poured beer into my glass and drank it. One glass after the other. Then two more. I want to get drunk but Franco took my glass away.

He could've killed me. It could've been easier not to breathe than to feel his torture.

My pillow lessens my agony right now. Bed never felt this big and empty. I regret I let him take my daughter for tonight. Felize is my pacifier.

I hurt myself over and over again by thinking of what happened in the bar. This night would've been better and not painful if only Bea isn't around fanning herself with her skirt and showing off her skin to please people. This is all her fault.

I was about to cry when the lamp beside me moved, scaring me. I sat properly on the bed to know why and saw nothing, but it moved again.

"The fuck," I cursed.

I left my bed to unplug it, afraid that it'll explode in no time. However, it seemed like it is slightly moving because there is something inside the drawer that is moving. Hindi ang lamp ang kusang gumagalaw.

My brows furrowed as I slowly walked and opened it.

"Damn, bitch!" I jumped on my bed in terror when a mouse came out of the drawer. "Fuck, fuck, not a mouse, please."  They are my biggest fear. Roaches are fine but a freaking mouse?! No way.

Holding my chest while panting, I'm watching the mouse explore my room. Like what is it? A Dora spirit in the body of Jerry?

"Shoo, go away. Leave my room."

I opened the window, hoping that it will find its way out of my room but it only went near me. My back slammed on the wall in fear, and when it crawled onto my bed I have no choice but to climb the tallest dresser nearby me.

"What the fuck are you?"

The mouse isn't leaving my room. I'm at the top of the dresser now, not planning to come down because it is busy smuggling the snacks on my side table. Nang magtagal na at hindi pa rin ito umaalis sa lamesa ko ay nagtipa na ako ng numero sa telepono.