Sidereus

Chapter Forty Six

Noticing the book on my lap as Ellen wanders off into the house, Bobby prod's "Angel's?"

Gently closing the tattered cover, I push the book aside into the stacks "Research. Makin heads or tails of what's fact and fiction."

Buying the lie I manage through my teeth- a half-truth perhaps- Bobby smirks "Always the bookworm." I accomplish a smile but I don't even convince myself. My mind is racing and spinning so ferociously I can barely navigate what direction my thoughts are taking. When he realizes my smile doesn't reach my eyes, Bobby rolls further into my old bedroom "You wanna talk to me about what's going on?" Pursing my lips, I adamantly shake my head. The last thing I want to say is what I'm thinking. It becomes real. Or I sound like a nutcase. Either way, it bods more questions- too many questions for answers I cannot provide. Instead, I remain silent and avert my gaze to my lap. "You know you can talk to me kiddo...Right?"

"I know Bobby", I sadly murmur into my lap. My heart growing heavier in the silence I quietly ask "Can you shut the door? Please?"

It is silent for a long moment and I only feel worse. But I can't say anything about this. If it's true... I might just be the very thing everyone in my life hunts. Not a soul can know this is on my mind. Nobody no matter how badly I need help searching for the sense. For that reason, I remain reserved as Bobby navigates himself out of the little messy yellow bedroom. With the click of the wooden door, the pent-up tears well finally break free. Rolling my lip to remain silent, I bang my head against the cheap plaster. "Jesus fucking Christ", I mutter aggressively under my breath, breathlessly raking my hands into my hair "What the hell is wrong with you?" I bite down the broken sob that falls from when my lips hear my phone vibrating. Swallowing the lump in my throat I don't even bother to wipe my tears when I answer, growling "Oh it's so nice to hear from you, Sam. How are you? What's the weather like? Are you remembering to change out the oil in your car?"

"I understand you're mad."

"Mad?" I laugh at his audacity, throwing my head back "Stubbing my toe makes me mad. Burning my chicken nuggets makes me mad-"

"You're pissed."

"Yes, I'm pissed Sam!" I snap harshly at his meek tone, straining to maintain my voice's composure in the quiet room "I told you to call and you've ghosted me for weeks!"

"After everything that's happened, I just thought you would've rather me not."

"I don't trust you, Sam. That doesn't mean I stopped loving you." Gritting my teeth I lower my voice, trying to let go of the raw sadness still lingering on my tongue. "What's going on? You alright?"

It's quiet for a long moment, "I need to come back. It's Lucifer. He's... he's speaking to me."

I'll admit, my thoughts falter "Like... he's there."

"No. No, he's in my head." There is a long stretch of silence as Sam pauses. Hesitating. "He's... I'm his vessel. I'm Lucifer's vessel."

Lucifers. Vessel.

Because of course he is.

I'm so silent Sam repeats my name as if I hung up. "Wherever you are pack your things", I instruct Sam quickly "I'm gonna call your brother. We'll sort this out." I don't wait for him to say goodbye. I just take a leap of faith Sam understood the urgency in my voice. If Lucifer is reaching out to him that's not good. Not good at all.

Dean answers almost immediately, "El the Angel's just sent me into the future and-"

"We're going to have to unpack that later", I abruptly cut Dean off, rubbing the tear stains out of my foundation "Sam's-"