evolve// 5SOS

47

"She threw up,"

"Your stomach hurts?"

"No,"

"She's stressed,"

I kicked Sierra's leg slightly because she was snitching, but she didn't get the right hint and instead left the table.

"What's bothering you?"

"What's not bothering me?"

"It can feel like that sometimes, huh? And it feels endless, which makes it really suck,"

"I feel sick,"

"Have you,"-

"And I have missed out on so much school, and dad is missing out on work, and everything has changed. I want the old me back. And the old dad back, and the old house back,"

"The old house?"

"And now Maddox is hurt, plus she wants me to meet her parents. I don't like growing up either,"

"By old house you mean just the two of you, don't you?"

"Does my medicine make me more sad?" I sniffed, avoiding his question.

"Thats a good point, we can ask... in the least douche bag way possible, is your period due?"

"It started earlier,"

"Well that certainly doesn't help, but it isn't our explanation, I know that,"

He tapped on the table while I stared blankly at the wall, his hand still stroking my head. He always did it when I was younger, and I couldn't sleep at his.

I missed the simpler times, and I did have a lot on my plate as a young kid, but it was still more simple.

"Is being an adult good?"

I sat up and leant my head on my hand, looking into his eyes. Sometimes I avoided eye contact with Ashton- he seemed to be able to read minds through them, I swore.

He twisted his lip, and then folded his arms, leaning back.

"Not always, but is anything ever always good?"

"Maybe,"

"The answer is no. Everything has it's bad moments, whether it be a person or a day, there are ups, downs, and the neutral bit where we are all chugging along. But the most important thing is to make sure the good outweighs the bad,"

"You can't control that though,"

"Most of the time, no, but you can control perspective. Not easily, nor alone, but you can eventually begin to see things differently,"

"Like what? Maddox going to hospital is good?"

"No. Some things just suck,"

"I guess,"

The front door opened and Michael walked in, not even taking his shoes off before he came over. I let him pull me into his arms, then he lifted me onto his lap even though I was way too tall now.

But it was nice, to be held that way. When you got older you lost that kind of hug that covers your whole body and makes you feel so safe.

"We were just talking about whether being an adult sucked," Ashton said.

"I love being an adult, I get to do all the things my mum said no to doing,"

"Really?"

"Yeah. I get to play video games as long as I want, I get to eat the same meal 2 days in a row, and I get to spend my money on anything,"