evolve// 5SOS

22

Gabi

I hadn't felt this shit... ever.

This felt like the lowest point I had been at in my life. My chest felt tight but my heart felt hollow, and I was so sick to my stomach I couldn't eat.

I couldn't stop crying either.

The thing is, though I had no memories of my mum, I had so many memories of the lasting pain she caused dad.

On pictures he had bruises, and a sad smile.
I remembered him having to go to court many times about payments and me.
I remembered watching him break down in the kitchen over a relationship once in Calum's arms.

There was so much pain he had gone through that I had seen come from my mum, and I didn't want a piece of her near me. Nevermind one of her organs.

And dad was being selfless by saying I should do it, but I didn't want to. I wanted a kidney, but not hers.

Dad had gone home to get us some bits to stay in hospital with, so I had gone to the bathroom to avoid him seeing my teary face. It was red and blotchy.

As I left, Sierra walked in with Maddox, which just made me cry all over again.

"Sierra told me what happened, I am so sorry,"

"You came for me,"

"Of course I came for you;"

"You came for me,"

I clung onto her tightly and cried into her shoulder, smelling the sweet perfume she had on. Her school uniform was rough against my cheek but I didn't care.

"You should get back in bed,"

"I missed you,"

"I missed you too. I'm gonna go and get changed so we can cuddle,"

She kissed my cheek and pried herself off me, slipping into the bathroom with her bag.

"She's right, you should get in bed sweetheart,"

"I can't move,"

"Shall I see where you dad is?"

"I can't move, Sierra,"

"You're hyperventilating, come here,"

She moved me to the bed and put a mask on my face, then perched beside me and gently rubbed my back, keeping her eyes locked to mine.

"I've scheduled your surgery for 9am tomorrow, so we can get it started nice and quickly. I am going to get some people to prep you, then meet you right before surgery and we can make you all sleepy. When you wake up you will have your new kidney, and your dad and anyone else you want there, will be there to look after you,"

"Not Calum,"

"Well Calum will need to be in with me to do checks,"

"Not Calum!"

"We can talk about this later, for now I need you to take some deep breaths,"

"I want my dad,"

"I'll see where he is. Maddox can give you a cuddle for now right?"

"Yeah,"

She came out the bathroom and climbed into the bed with me, letting me curl back into her body. As my heart rate slowed down, Sierra took the oxygen off me and picked up my chart to write on it.

Then, she got her phone out and called dad on speaker.

"Hey, Luke,"

"Are you off shift? I'm just bringing Gabi's things over and if she feels okay later, maybe we could go to the canteen for tea? And then see if there's an on call room for half an hour to,"-