evolve// 5SOS

32

Gabi

"Pasta! Pasta! Pasta!"

"Mike, can you stop shouting pasta?"

"You're so miserable,"

"No I am not," Ashton said, "Gabi has a headache,"

"You have a headache?" Calum asked, "Follow my finger,"

"Get lost,"

"Do it,"

"Calum, people get headache. Look at her, she's barely slept, and she left the house today,"

"Which was stupid. I'm gonna murder your dad,"

"Called it,"

"Huh?"

"Nothing,"

I shut my eyes and put my weight more into Ashton, who was happily sitting with me on the sofa as Mike cooked.

After getting back home, I had showered, then had a huge nap, only waking up when dad came to say goodbye.

Calum said I had to come down for a bit, so I did, and decided to sit with Ashton. Mike and Cal were like the 'cool' uncles who just messed around and tried to be funny.

Ash was more protective and like a dad when my dad was gone. I felt safe, and often found comfort in him when I felt sick or tired. He was always ready for a hug, or a chat. Plus he never really went all doctor on me, other than when he really needed.

"Are you too hot?"

"Calum," Ashton said, putting his hand out, "She will tell us if she feels sick, won't you?"

"Mhm,"

"I think Calum is gonna want a solid yes,"

"Yes. I will tell you. Like I always have,"

"Good,"

"Uncle Ashton,"

"What do you want?" he laughed.

"Some water,"

"Mike can you bring some water please?"

"Coming right up,"

"You saying uncle has just reminded me, are you seeing you actual uncles soon?"

"You are my actual uncles,"

"You know who I mean,"

"They messaged me after surgery but I don't know. That's up to dad,"

"Ah, okay,"

"I'm hungry,"

"It's about done," Mike said, passing me some water, "Come to the table when you're ready,"

"Why didn't we get pizza?"

"Your dad said we weren't allowed,"

"Why?"

"I think he just want you to have home cooked meals again, he likes having them,"

"I guess,"

Ashton carried my water and I made my way to the table, Michael serving up the pasta. He put the radio on and they all clinked glasses, then began to eat. It was a lot more social when they came, and dare I say rowdy. They laughed and shouted quite chaotically,  even Calum who was sometimes quite quiet.

I liked to sit back and listen, especially because they always ended up going back to talking about their jobs.

Unfortunately I brought back the attention to me when I choked on the food, and Ashton whacked my back really hard which sent pain basically everywhere.

"Careful mate," Calum said, "That probably hurt like hell,"

"Oh shit,"

"You just did that like I didn't have an epidural,"

"Yeah, I am sorry. I panicked,"

"It's okay, you just owe me,"

"Owe you how?"

"You'll find out when it's time,"

He raised his eyebrows and grinned, then kissed my head and hugged me tightly, squeezing me.

"I do love you,"

"I know,"

"Wanna watch a movie?"

"I wanna go to bed,"

"Oh. Okay,"

"Sorry,"

"It's okay," Calum said, "Have a short nap, your dad will probably want to talk to you when he gets back. You know how he is,"

"Annoying?"

"Precisely,"

They cleaned up, and Michael took me upstairs, laying me under the covers. He shut my curtains and left me, but I could've sworn I was asleep before he got downstairs.

I woke up again to laughter, dad's laugh in particular, so I wandered out my room and sat at the top of the stairs, slowly shuffling down.

All eyes turned to me as I walked through.

"Did you just come downstairs?"

"I shuffled,"

"Okay... did we wake you? Sorry darling," dad said, "The guys are going home now,"

"Bye,"

"Hugs?"

I shook my head, so Calum just pat my head and they all left.

I sat down beside dad, who was beside Sierra with his hand on her thigh. It made me have this sinking feeling in my stomach that I hated myself for.

"Gabi, would you feel okay if Sierra slept over?"

"I don't know,"

"I know it's a big step, so I thought we could perhaps all talk. Together?"

"I'm tired,"

"Gabi, please?"

"I'm tired,"

"I could braid your hair while we talk," Sierra said, "If you'd like,"

"Oh. Um. Okay. Yes please,"

She smiled and pulled a hairbrush and some bobbles from her bag- meaning she was definitely staying the night regardless of my decision- then stood behind me and brushed my hair.

I couldn't figure out her deal, but I had been too tired all day to work out my own hair, and she did really pretty dutch braids.

But I still felt nervous around her. It was stupid, for she had literally done surgery on me, then looked after me, and spoken to me. Clearly gaining a child, or adult now, didn't phase her which I was so happy about for dad.

But I was still nervous.

"Do you have any questions for Sierra?" dad asked, "I know we keep going back to this but she will answer whatever you want to know,"

"I don't know,"

"Okay... what is it that you're so hesitant about? She's taken care of you all week and she hasn't been horrible at all, so it's just a bit confusing for us,"

"I know,"

"Am I too invasive? Sorry if I am I just... well I guess I've always wanted a family or, a close knit group of people so I am just excited at the opportunity to have someone like you in my life," she rambled, "I really think your dad is the most amazing person in the world. I do,"

As she spoke, it sort of began to click in my head.

Anyone could see that they were in love with each other. It was true that dad was careful who he brought round me, and I could see it was true that Sierra wouldn't hurt a fly.

She always smelt of coconut, and her hair was always nice, and she looked perfect in all of her clothes. There was nothing scary about her at all.

No.

What was actually scaring me was that I had gone 18 years with no mum, or female figure in my life.

But suddenly... suddenly I kind of wanted one.