Everything Special Has A Flaw
'I crossed your heart, husband, now it's time for you to take my name, only your husband's name,' I thought and smiled.
Taehyung and Yoongi bump into each other by chance at an airport lounge. Six months and many meetin...
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5 January-21 February 2021
Yoongi and I last met on 5 January. That night itself, he had a flight with his husband to the US. He wa going there for a month to visit his elder brother and sister-in-law as they had had a baby in November. I knew he was going temporarily, but the pain I felt, thinking of the long separation, I knew we wouldn't be able to talk freely. The time difference would make it really difficult. When he would be free, I would be in office. When I would be free at night, he would be busy. The
nights were particularly difficult. Much more than I had thought. With Jungkook attending a fifteen-day workshop, there was nothing to look forward to in the evenings. I did try to get back to dating apps, not to meet anybody, but to have random conversations and kill time, but nobody seemed interesting enough. I deleted the apps. Jungkook pestered me to join him, and I considered it as well but backed out at the last moment. I wasn't ready to face him. I told myself that if I was to go ahead with the plan with Yoongi, which I was, then it was better that I didn't meet Jungkook in person. Sometimes, our suffering is because of the choices someone close to us makes. Jungkook would learn this, I knew. Once Yoongi and I disappeared. But knowing I was going to leave him soon, I couldn't bring myself to enjoy an impromptu holiday with him.
There were a few things to be done, though, like booking our tickets from Seoul to Santorini. To avoid any suspicions, Yoongi suggested we book our own tickets and get visas separately. I also made some legal papers in Jungkook's name. I only took a part of my money. The rest was for him. Even the company remained with him. I managed to finish all the paperwork on time.
Yoongi came back from the US in the first week of February, but had to immediately leave for a family wedding on his husband's side. When he came back, he fell sick. Seasonal flu. I thought our plan would get postponed. I was okay with that but the flight tickets would have to be rebooked. I was also running out of patience. I just had to see him, meet hi., talk to him in person. I told him on chat that I could come to his house as a delivery person, see him once and leave. I agree it sounded lame and childish but I was desperate. But he didn't agree. I didn't push after that. I asked for a video call but he said her husband was home all the time since he wasn't keeping well. So that too was chucked aside. In the end, I decided to surrender to destiny and sit tight.
Finally, we met today. I thought s he would hug me. I was ready for it but he didn't. It troubled me but I chose to focus on the bright side. He was finally in front of me. I could sense some hesitation in him. Was it because we were meeting after so long? Maybe. When I asked him if everything was all right, she said she was nervous about what was coming up. Our plan to elope. I understood. Even I was nervous. Maybe that's why I wanted the hug so badly.
While talking to him that day, I realized people express and behave in different ways when they are in love. We get upset when our ways don't match the other person's. We always look at it from our own point of view. Like I would surely have hugged him if I was feeling nervous. But he didn't. He preferred to keep a certain distance. In fact, he told me later on text that it was a conscious decision. He was fragile and didn't want to break down because that, he thought, could have deterred us. When he was away, he met his parents, who had travelled there for the wedding. And since then the thought of leaving them and never seeing them again had been haunting him. He could disappear from his husband's life but would he be able to disappear from his parents'? I too had wondered about my parents and what they would think of me once I left. And then I arrived at a conclusion, which I shared with Yoongi as well, that it was not possible to make everyone around us happy. That way we would never be able to take any decision in life. We couldn't live a dream and be aware of reality as well. And it wasn't lake Jungkook or Yoongi's husband wouldn't be able to track us down. We weren't fugitives on a run. We were 'disappearing' because we didn't want to go through the legal shit. And this was a message to them that they too were free to choose the life they wanted for themselves. No baggage. It sounded a little far-fetched, no doubt, but then I thought Yoongi and I were doing it because somewhere deep inside we both wanted such an adventure. Something other people might not even consider or may just fantasize about, but we were going through with it. We were going to live it. And we were going to tell our kids about it. It was a story which was worth a risk.
In the end, I messaged Yoongi one simple question: Are you ready to leave everything for me? Think and answer.
I found it slightly ironical that he was the one who had come up with the idea to begin with and now I was the one asking him this question. It was like he had dreamt it and now I was more convinced about the dream than he was. The seen appeared below the message. But there was no answer. My heart was racing as I waited for him to type. Then few seconds later, his reply came:
Yes, I'm ready.
Three days later, on 25 February, we were supposed to meet at a restaurant outside Seoul, park my car in a mall and then take a cab to the international airport.
