Hidden Secrets [Currently being rewritten]

Hidden Secrets [5]

Hidden Secrets [5]

I rolled my eyes back up to the ceiling. What was with her? It was my birthday. 14 years ago, my mum had gone missing. And i didn't know where or why. Had she forgotten that? Well her certainly hadn't. And i wasn't going to.

She'd gone to make breakfast in her kitchen, turning the radio up so she could block out my shouts of anger coming from the living room. Fine. If she wasn't going to tell me, i was going to find out for myself. I wasn't stupid. I'd known her long enough to know where she kept all the stuff she didn't want me to find.

Adrenaline rushed back through my blood. My head began to pound. The possibility of discovering my past, all by myself, was amazing. The feeling was overwhelming. I could possibly find out who i am, or what i was. What made me who i am now.

I got to my feet, an evil gleam spreading through my eyes. I suddenly felt powerful. In control of my life. I could uncover everything. And that thought was making me feel stronger. More determined. Almost giving me a stronger force than i'd ever had before. I felt a surge of power wash over me. Giving me the determination i needed to force myself up from the sofa and into the hall way, standing just below the stairs.

As i was thinking, my legs had taken me there, almost without me knowing. Automatically. The power was rushing around me, swallowing me whole, but i felt weak at the same time. Because i'd had no control over my movement. As if someone or something was pulling me toward the stairs.

My legs took control again and walked me up the cream coloured stairs in a wild rush. I felt the wind flick through my hair as i ran. This was growing from a desperate want, into a urgent need. I had to do this. Had to.

When my feet stopped and i was in control again, i found myself at the top of the stairs, standing just outside of Rose's bedroom door. It looked just like a little girls room. Pure white, with pictures and posters stuck all over it. And a name written at the top, but it was slightly faded. Something i'd never really noticed before. Even though i'd stood in front the door many times before, it looked different. Something my eyes had never layed eyes on before. Maybe i had, i just hadn't really taken the time to notice all the detail. Whatever the excuse was, the name on the door must have meant that Rose lived here when she was a child. Less than my age. Wow. I'd never known. This was Roses home from when she'd been a child. Another question. Why hadn't she ever told me that? I guess it wasn't the kind of thing you blurted out over dinner or something.

The handle was gold, but rusty. The door hadn't been replaced in the whole time Rose had lived here. It was cold to touch. And the door was locked. I began cursing under my breathe. Damn! All my plans had been blown out of the water. Maybe she'd never open it unless she was inside. Damn. Damn. Double damn! Rage rushed through my blood stream, taking over my thoughts. What was so bad that she'd kept it from me for my whole life. I desperately had to know what it was. And it had to be today. I'd waited 14 years exactly, for this moment. It'd kill me if i had to wait any longer.

I stood. Frozen to the stop. Pondering what to do about the locked door. This door was the only thing that lay between me and everything i'd never dreamed of knowing. I was Not going to let a door block my dreams. I'd be stupid to walk away. I wouldn't get the oppurtunity again. My heart was racing. Eger to get beyond the door. Discover the unknown.

As i thought, the Rage continued to flow, becoming more powerful than i'd ever felt it before. I'd never wanted anything so bad in my entire life. I was standing still but i could feel the earth shaking underneath me. A look of confusion spread across my face. What was happening? This had never happened before, another mystery to work out. It was starting to look as if my whole life revolved around mystery and questions.

I felt as if power was flowing through from the ground, up into my thin, fragile body. Glued to one spot, i felt the strange source of engergy flood my body, my mind and my soul, pulsing through every nerve, acting faster than anything i'd ever known. Like a storm, free, wild and completely uncontrolable. Surging through my heart and striking it with lightening. But the feeling of a Untameable storm didn't last long. A feeling of strong power and light swallowed me. The only image in my mind was that of an overwhelming bright light.

I put my hands out to steady myself, but my mind lead them lower down, i hit the rusty handle instead. My actions weren't under my control or anything. Well it didn't seem like it. With one push, the door was open. A look of shock spread completely over my face. I hadn't meant to open it. I didn't even know what had just happened.

A breathe escaped me. A gasp. Quick and Sharp.

'How. The. Hell?!' I questioned myself in less than a whisper. I hadn't a clue what had just happened. But i had to find out more. The power surge had felt magical, electrical, And that light had been stunning. I stayed frozen to the spot. Even more confused than i had been before. I really didn't understand at all.

But all the same, i finally got the feeling back in my legs and strolled through the door. Making no more sound than the footsteps on the soft cream carpet. Padding into the floor, leaving indentations and then watching them rise again, leaving no proof i was ever there. But being caught was the last thing on my mind at that point. All i cared about was finding the truth. And of cause figuring out what the hell just happened.

I let myself fall to my knees. Looking down, i still had my pjama's on. Black silk to match my hair. And my black hair had fallen just past my shoulders, some of it tucked in the back of my pajamas, presumably from when the bright light and the storm thing can happened.

Under Rose's bed lay boxes. Many of them. Some white, some brown. But no matter what colour they were, they were all full, nearly overflowing with paper and books. Note books. Filled to bursting, pages covered in scribbled words spilling out of them. Gosh. I thought a few books might have been helpful. But i didn't think she had this many.

I slid my hand into the box labelled'2011'. pulling out an entry from a month ago.

'4th July 2011

Only a month until Nikki's birthday. I so desperately want to tell her the truth. But the truth is already showing in her as it is. I can see it. Maybe because i know what i'm looking for. My mother saw the same in Her mother. How i miss her. Nikki's mother that is. Next month, it'll be exactly 14 years since she's been gone. I wish the police had carried on looking for her. Maybe they'd have found her. But they took me off the case to. Ended my career that did. I had to leave to take care of Nikki. I had to be strong for her. She won't thank me for not telling her the truth. But maybe sometime in the future, she'll understand why i had to. I can't let them take her away too. I promised her mother i wouldn't. I don't half miss Lucinda. Theworst part is, I don't know if she's alive or dead. Nobody does. I hate the secrets'.

The truth is already showing in me? Could she mean the same thing as mark had? Lucinda? Pretty. My mother was called Lucinda. It wasn't much, but at least i knew more than i had before. There were so many questions i could now have answered. I didn't know what to look for first.

My head and hands ached with anticipation. That and excitment. Excitment to discover everything i've ever wanted to know.