Cinematographer

"You gotta fight.... "

I'm so so sorry guys. Really truly am. Got to have some angst right? Can't all just be sunshine and rainbows.

April 22, 2019

Jade's POV

I follow the nurse as she carries my baby through the hallways straight to, my heart stops for a second seeing the NICU. I shake off the feeling and continue on watching as the nurse hands the baby off to a NICU nurse. I stand by the door about to go in as the nurse comes out, "you can't go in there." She states standing in my way. "Like hell I can't." I go to move past her as she just moves again to stand in front of me.

"Look if it was my daughter I would be worried too, but there are precautions that take place before someone can go into the NICU to keep the babies safe. If you go through them then you can enter, not before." The nurse spoke to me in a calm voice. I take a deep breath looking the way I came from in the direction of where I left my wife back to the nurse. "Will you at least tell me what you think might be wrong with them?"

"The cry was broken and choppy and not loud, it's usually a sign of either fluid in the lungs or the lungs aren't fully developed yet. We don't know which yet the NICU nurses and Doctors will run tests to let us know. There is also the case that she is around 3.8 pounds compared to your son who was around 5.2 pounds...." The nurse keeps talking but all I heard was the word she. "She?"

"Yes, your daughter. Were you not expecting her?" The nurse asks confused. "No." I answer shaking my head. "We were only expecting our son." I answer honestly. "We had no idea that she even existed until the cry."

The nurse nods sadly, "here I'll show you where you can get ready to go into the NICU."

I follow her a little ways down the hallway to a little room. "Just put these on, I'll be right here to let you in when you are ready." She hands me a cover scrub and a hair net before leaving the room allowing me to get ready. I quickly put on everything I need leaving the room seeing the nurse next to the door. "Follow me." Was all she said before heading in the direction of where I can enter the NICU.

"I'm guessing your daughter doesn't have a name yet?" She asks to break the silence. "What?" I shake my head, "oh no... no name yet."

"That's okay, we usually put name tags on the basinet capsules so the doctors know who is who. For now we will just put baby girl Olsen." She smiles softly scanning her ID to have the door open. "Hey Doc." She smiles at a male doctor who was watching the heart beat of a little baby. "Are you treating the new baby that just came in?"

The doctor nods. "Yes, little girl, 3.8 pounds?"

"That's the one."

"Is this aunt?" He asks pointing towards me. "Mom." I answer quickly standing up straighter almost afraid of his reaction. "Right, okay." He smiles softly walking towards a basinet capsule thing. "This little girl right here is yours. We have her on oxygen and we are right now monitoring her oxygen levels and her heart rate. We did take take a CT scan of her chest to be able to rule out fluid in her lungs."

I listen to his words carefully. "What were to happen if she does have fluid in her lungs?" I ask looking at him.

(Let's make it clear I am not a doctor, I am looking at Mayo Clinic and Kids Health)

"What we are doing exactly right now treats Transient Tachypnea which is fluid in the lungs for newborns who are typically premature and don't have fully developed lungs. Almost all babies make a full recovery and don't suffer health problems down the line."

"Wait almost all babies? So there's some that don't?" I ask cutting off what the doctor was going to continue to say. "Look, I'm not saying that there's a possibility that she won't be fine, but right now there is no way of knowing anything until the results come back from the CT scan to see. The more fluid the more complications, the less fluid the more likely it will be a speedy recovery." He nods slightly explaining more of what was going on. Because all that did in particular was raise this mothers anxiety levels.