Among Us Logic One Shots

Worthless (Engiegnome)

Warning // depression , suicide mention

Requested by Philby925

Gnome and Engineer danced around the kitchen, cleaning.  They loved doing simple domestic tasks together; it made it less of a chore.  Engineer was putting cups away, Gnome scrubbing the cabinets clean. 

Engineer was happy, and Gnome was too... at first. A wave of sadness suddenly struck her. That had been happening a lot lately, and she didn't know how to tell anyone. She didn't know how to deal with negative feelings, especially the deep sadness she'd felt lately, even though it had only been getting worse and worse. She tried to suppress it, hide her tears, but she fell to the floor, crying.

She sobbed into her arms, hating herself in her head. She almost forgot where she was until she felt Engineer's hand on her shoulder. She looked up, to see him looking down on her, confused and worried.

"Gnome? Did something happen?"

"No-no," Gnome shook her head. "I'm-I'm alright."

Engineer blinked a few times. "But you're crying."

"Just, just stupid," Gnome giggled nervously, a habit of hers.

"Gnome, really, what's wrong?" Engineer said, sitting down next to her.

Gnome bit her lip. "It's nothing, just been a bit emotional lately," She laughed more. 

"You've never done this," Engineer pointed out worriedly.  "Is something bothering you?"

Gnome looked to Engineer. Engineer could help her, right? They told each other everything. The only reason she hadn't told him is she didn't want to be a burden. Maybe she could just tell enough to satisfy him, just get a bit off her chest.

"Just been a bit insecure lately," Gnome said, smiling to hide her feelings, which only made Engineer more worried.

"About what?" Engineer asked gently.

"I-I don't know," Gnome stuttered, regretting saying anything. "Lots of things.  I'm not the brightest, and I'm kinda boring, and I'm-"

"Gnome!  No you're not?" Engineer said, confused.  "You think these things about yourself?"

Gnome blushed.  "I've always thought that... I thought it was normal.   I mean, it's not like I'm wrong, I've always known I was, it's just lately it's really been starting to get to me-"

"You are wrong," Engineer told her. "You're very smart, and funny. Why the hell do you think otherwise?"

Gnome bit her lip. "I-I... like I said, those thoughts have just gotten worse lately. I-I don't know why."

Engineer stared at her, a worried look that made Gnome feel guilty.

"But I'm fine, Engie! I'll be fine!" She tried to fake a convincing smile.

"You say you've always had these insecurities... babe, why didn't you tell me?" Engineer took her hand. "It's not fine."

The way Engineer's eyebrow knitted with worry, the way his brown eyes glistened, made Gnome want to tell him more. She swallowed from the intensity of the moment.

"I thought everyone thought that I was dumb and annoying... and worthless... that's why I didn't tell you," Gnome whispered. It was true. She knew her sweet Engie didn't think she was worthless, but everyone else did. Why wouldn't they? So she hadn't told anyone, to not burden them, to not annoy them, to not get laughed at.

Engineer held her tightly. "Worthless? Babe, I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You'd be better off," Gnome giggled nervously again. "You could do your experiments and everything in peace. I just-just weigh you done..."

"That's not true," Engineer said. "I want to make it clear that none of this is true."

Gnome cried more at his sweet words. "You mean it?"

Gnome felt him nod as he hugged her more. They embraced quietly for a moment, and she sniffled. She just wanted to feel okay again.

"Engie?" Gnome whispered.

"Yeah?"

"I-I think I might be depressed..." she confessed. It was hard to say that word, to even admit to herself that was a possibility. She just didn't know what to do with negative emotions, and she didn't think she had the right to be depressed.

She felt Engineer sigh. "I'm sorry, Gnome."

That wasn't the response she expected. "Sorry for what?"

"Sorry that you're depressed. And sorry that I didn't realize sooner," Gnome couldn't tell, but Engineer was silently crying.

"But-but- it's just an overreaction, right?" Gnome asked. "I can't be depressed, I-I have a good life. Surely that word doesn't fit... it's offensive I even said it!"

Engineer held her closer. "That's not how that works."

Gnome blinked away a few tears, now unsure of what to say. She nuzzled into him.

"If you ever need to talk, you can tell me," Engineer told her. "Anything. Please. I want to help you."

Gnome nodded. "Okay."

Engineer pulled away and looked serious. "But, Gnome. Promise me one thing."

"What?"

"...If you ever want to kill yourself, tell me. If you are planning to kill yourself, tell me. Please."

"I'm not," Gnome shook her head. "I hadn't even thought of it, really. I don't want to do that to you."

Engineer smiled slightly out of relief. "Good. If that ever changes, tell me."

Gnome nodded, and Engineer continued. "Even if it's the middle of the night and you don't wanna wake me."

Gnome nodded again, smiling more genuinely. "I understand. Thank you..."

Engineer then pulled her into an embrace again. "When you said, I'd be better off without you, it just worried me. But I'm so glad to hear you don't wanna do that."

Gnome sighed. "Thank you, again. For listening... and caring."

"Of course," Engineer responded. "I love you."

"I love you too!" Gnome said. It still felt new for Gnome, to get this much reassurance and care. She didn't need to be positive all the time. Engineer cared either way...

She pulled him closer this time, and they stayed like that for a while.