nineteen | journey into darkness

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𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚗 |  𝚓𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚢 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚘 𝚍𝚊𝚛𝚔𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜

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𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚗 | 𝚓𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚢 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚘 𝚍𝚊𝚛𝚔𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜

Little Dean barged through the front door of our apartment. He went to execute his plan with Grayson, leaving me standing in the doorway momentarily paralyzed.

The sudden realization of what just occurred came barreling at me like a bowling ball towards the pins. I stood frozen in the open doorway, feeling my legs being pulled out from under me.

Thea appeared in the threshold connecting the kitchen and living room. She took one look at me and rushed to my side.

Without thinking about weakness or vulnerability, I collapsed into Thea's arms. She beckoned me away from the door, whispering comforting nothing's in my ear to keep me calm. Nothing could keep me calm. I don't care about my father's lessons in keeping monotonous expressions at all times. My walls crumbled down at this moment, and I couldn't hold back my tears any longer.

"It's okay," Thea whispered, wrapping her arms around me. She rocked the two of us back and forth to try and help me steady my breathing. "It's okay. I've got you. I've got you."

My intense sobbing morphed into angry gasps.

"It's not okay!" I sobbed. "It's really not okay. I don't know what to do."

"You're going to figure out what to do. You're Secret Agent Seven of Spades! You always figure out what to do," Thea reassured me.

Her words of encouragement were doing wonders for my self-confidence, but they weren't reassuring to my continuous sobbing.

The universe is cruel to me. The universe is unnaturally cruel to me.

Jessica convinces me to observe my feelings from Archer—not as a secret agent—but as myself. Archer gave me his heart and took away all my paranoia when he kissed me. Right after that he's being taken away in handcuffs.

My lip trembled as I tried to formulate a sentence. A sharp intake of breath made the words get lost in my mouth.

"He's gone," I sobbed.

I looked up to see Grayson and Little Dean standing in the living room. Neither one of them made a move to come near me. Tears collected in my eyelashes, blurring my vision. However, I saw Grayson. My big brother.

Wearing a suit?

Holding a briefcase?

"How do I give a message to Archer?" Grayson asked. He stayed standing, while I composed myself. "Something that he knows is from you, so he knows that you're getting him out of there."

Tell him I love him.

I know exactly what to tell Archer. The first murderous thing I ever told him.

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