The Journey (A Multi-Fandom Fanfic)

Chapter 26

"Don't even think about it baba!" She said smirking and my anger slipped away easily. I was so lucky to have a big cousin like Perrie. So caring and gentle, strict when needed but always loving. She walked us over to my chair and carefully placed me back on the uncomfortable seat. "Just, try and relax ok baby? I know it's hard and not very comfy but i'd rather you endure this than never be able to walk again!" She said and kissed my head before grabbing her stuff and heading to the door with Emily.

"Mitchi babe, take care of her aye?2 Perrie asked and Mitchi nodded coming to my side. "Course Pezza!" She said and smiled at Emily and Perrie as they shut the doors. "Ok, now they're gone, grab my hands and I'll help you up!" She said while reaching her hands out. "Knew there was a reason I loved ya Coco!" I smiled and she giggled. I grabbed her hands in mine and pulled myself up. Pain rippled throughout my body again and my legs were wobbling. "I'll catch you Milky, its ok!" She said and i nodded. She took a step backwards causing me to take one forwards. Unfortunately, Perrie was right and i wasn't ready as my legs buckled from the amount of pressure on my back and spine and went tumbling forwards. 

"Milky!" She screamed as she ran forwards. I landed safely in her arms and i held her tightly as tears leaked from my eyes. "Ok, I'm sorry, bad idea!" She whispered and picked me up. I thought she was going to put me back in the chair until she turned and sat us down carefully on the couch. I smiled and cuddled into her side as she got the adapter from the coffee table. She plugged it into her phone and then gave me the phone to connect both sets of headphones as i went onto Netflix. "Thank you Coco!" I whispered and kissed her cheek quickly before hiding my blushing cheeks. "No problem MIlky, anytime!" She whispered and held me tightly in her arms as The Lion King started to play.

****FLASHBACK****

"That was probably one of the best days of my life!" She admitted and i giggled. It was clear we had feelings for each other, everyone knew it who had been around us so far. But after Ty, what;s the point? Pains more trouble than love is worth. I'm tired of gasping for air, yea it feels so good, but i know it hurts. What Tyler and I had was real, but what else was i meant to say to him to justify my breaking up with him? Is it meant to just be like 'Hey Ty, don't wanna carry around your constant worry about me with me anymore, you need to stop it and leave me alone' no! I couldn't just say that i didn'tt want the commitment anymore. No, i couldn't say i didn't want to settle down and no i couldn't tell him the truth. He deserves someone who'll treat him right. He'll always be my best friend, and he'll always be the No.1 guy in my life, but right now, i need to be alone. 

"Listen, I have my drivers test today so I need to go take a shower and get ready! I'll see ya soon!" I said before getting up and running past a happy Jerrie into my room. I got my clothes together and went into the bathroom. I placed my clothes on the bathroom counter before turning on the shower. I looked at myself ion the mirror. What the hell happened to me? I asked myself as i saw the bags under my eyes. Insomnia evident on my face.

Honestly, I was a goldfish. I was a goldfish in a big large tank, everyone around me, everyone different, never being judged for it. Then there is me, the little goldfish that was golden enough, wasn't big enough, wasn;t strong enough to survive on her own. Everyone always around her and swimming happily, getting on with their lives like nothing could ever go wrong. Then there was some, that wouldn't leave me alone in the tank. The protective and nice ones. But the goldfish only has a 3-5 second memory span, so it forgets who's heaven and who's hell, so it swims away itself to get away from the helpful fish, only for them to comeback and try again, and then watch the goldfish swim away again in fear.

I was sick of being the goldfish, and every time i let someone close to coming in, I run away to protect my heart. Why let it get broke again, and again from a feeling i can outrun? It was only love, I'm sure I can live without it. 

I shook my head before peeling my clothes from my sweaty body and jumped in the shower. I stared at the shower wall feeling the warm water beat off my sensitive shoulders. It hurt, a lot, but right now, I'd take physical pain over mental. It burned my pain skin and with the faint sunburn i had it stung greatly. But i liked it, i liked the searing pain from the water on my body, i had like 3 hours before I even had to think about getting ready so i had time to pass.

 I just stood there, staring at the white tiled wall. It was beginning, the feeling like the end had come. The water was running cold and it was then i realised. I hadn't ate anything yet. But there's no point in eating, the lump in my throught would just get in the way.

The water became freezing cold as i continued to stand there. I was out of it, in my place, my special place, the place that would either keep me or kill me. I was so out of it i didnt hear my bedroom door open, I didn't hear Perrie's voice travel through my thin bathroom walls, i didn't hear her knock on my bathroom door. I didnt notice anything as i turned and turned the shower off before turning it back on and up at a high heat. 

The little trick worked and a few seconds later hot water was streaming from the shower head and beaming down on my back. I sighed inwardly and suddenly opened my eyes from their closed state. I sat down in the shower as the hot water turned into mist and covered my body. I took a look at my skin and it was red raw and in some parts blistering. Good for me!

Soon enough the pain grew and i knew that damage would be done, but i couldn't care less. I closed my eyes and let the boiling water beat down on me. I didn't hear Perrie open the door, I didn't hear Perrie's cries as she saw my state, and i didnt hear her pleads for me to open my eyes. I was slouched against the cold tiles and the let the pain flow through me.

I was in a haze as Perrie grabbed my towel and wrapped it around my small body. She carried me to my bed and lay me down on it as she called for Mitchi and Jade with tears in her eyes. My body was burning as the remaining water on my skin continued to burn me.

I felt her tears fall onto my skin and i reached my red hand out to touch her cheek. "Hey, Pezzi, I'm fine!" I croaked but she just shook her hand and grabbed another towel as Jade and Mitchi ran in the room. "What happened?" Jade asked terrified as she helped Perrie dry me carefully so thehy could deal with my injured body.

"She just totally zoned out and the water was up full and she just sat there letting it burn her!" Perrie cried and i cringed. I felt a wave of exhausted flow throughout my body. "I'll be fine!" I whispered as I felt my eyes slowly close; My hand secured in both of Mitchi's as she stroked my wet hair and calm down my erratic heartbeat.