Shattered Inside (On Hold)

Chapter 10

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Listen to the music at the side.....its instrumental but its soo harmonziing and sad... :'(

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Chapter 10 – Too lazy to give a title… =)

The clock on the wall beside my bed ticked on, the time inching slowly into the future that I no longer had.

I had become a shell, a shell of infinite numbness. That was all that was left of me.

** FLASHBACK **

It had been two weeks since I had broken off all ties with Jesse, and in those two weeks all I did was stay at home.

My mom tried everything to cheer me up, but I was too lost in my misery to even bother to listen to anyone yet alone do something.

My hair was splayed all over my face as I lie on the bed, thinking about anything but Jesse, which was impossible since that was the only thing that was going through my mind.

The scene of Jesse and that stupid skank in the bedroom….together…I slapped myself on the cheek, the impact making me aware of how lost I truly was.

I had never felt this much pain since…well since ever.

I closed my eyes trying to retain some peace in the silence that consumed my house, not even my maid was here.

I groggily got up from my bed which had been my fort for the past two weeks. I edged towards my bathroom as the dizziness from getting up after days of lying down was settling down on me.

I leaned on the countertop turning on my tap, looking at myself in the mirror. I had dark circles underneath my eyes, and my hair was in a tangled mess and stuck to my face. I stripped off my clothes throwing them into my laundry basket and got into the shower.

I turned the water so it was ice cold, it would help me relax and wake up from this nightmare.

An hour late I got out and put on some sweats and worn out shirt and pulled a black hoodie on top of it, getting my converse at the same time.

I was finally going outside, finally I was going to face the world, but would the world still be the same?

** FLASHBACK END **

The knocking on the door startled me awake from my dream, I looked up at the clock, I had been asleep for almost two hours.

Lisa came in setting my lunch on the table. Today it was lasagna and some ice tea to go along with it.

I played with the food with my fork, knowing I wasn’t going to eat it.

Lisa sat down beside me on the bed playing with her fingers.

“Soo….” I started, but Lisa interrupted me.

“You should eat; it will help you get some energy.”

“What if I don’t want to eat? What if I want to throw the food out? What if I just wanted you TO LEAVE ME ALONE!??” I screamed at the top of my lungs and snapped my mouth shut when I saw Lisa’s terrified expression. “O-oh, I’m sorr-”

“I never knew you felt that way, I’ll be leaving now.” Lisa got up and started to make her way to the door when I jumped up and grabbed her by the arm.

“Don’t leave, I was just being stupid. I-I… just haven’t talked to anyone in a while…and I really miss home…”

“Well, I guess I can’t complain against that, I would probably be like that too if I was taken hostage.” Lisa looked horrified at what she said slapping her hand over her mouth.

“It’s alright, it’s been over a year now… I guess I have to get used to the idea of…never going home.” I looked down at my feet. I was never going to get used to that idea.

I had given up on the thought or the slightest bit of hope to go home when I saw Jesse. I knew he would never let me go, his eyes told it all.

I let out a sigh, slumping down onto my bed again.

Lisa settled for the chair next to my bed while I closed my eyes, wondering about my family.

Did they even care that their daughter was missing for over a year now? Did they think I was dead? What if they never tried to look for me? What I they hired Jesse to kidn-

I couldn’t bring myself to say the last one, it was utterly impossible. I might not be the most respectful daughter or even the best, but I knew my parents weren’t that deceitful…were they?

I shook my head causing Lisa to look at me confused. I opened my mouth to say something when the door opened up causing me and Lisa to get up, startled.

Derek stood at the doorway his hair hanging over his eyes, looking as sexy as ever. I tore my gaze away as the blush crept to my face.

“Lisa you’re here? Master Jesse’s been calling for you!”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I got caught up in…umm never mind. I’ll just go then.” Lisa gave me a quick goodbye gesture as she headed out the door.

There goes my only source for company, I thought.

As Lisa disappeared from sight, it left me and Derek alone in the bedroom staring at each other. I nervously started to look anywhere but him, though it was distracting when he was dressed so sexily…is that even a word?

Derek cleared his throat before saying something.

“Well I’ll be going then.” I gave him a slight nod, biting my lip hoping he would stay longer.

For a minute we just stood there looking at each other’s faces when he said something that changed my entire life.

“I’ll pick you up at seven.” And with that he was gone, leaving me in the bedroom, making me feel more alone than ever.

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I wonder wat’s going to happen next???

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