The Professor's Cassandra

16. Deeper

I stepped out of his car, sending a smile and a small wave his way. He nodded curtly.

"Don't get so wasted next time, I might not be around, " he said pleadingly.

"Can't promise you that, but I'll try, professor!, " I made those fake puppy eyes. I was so sure he saw right though it,by the way he smirked and drove off.

I breathed in the delightful afternoon air and stumbled inside. I slipped my shoes off and walked around in my socks. I turned to the corner and I couldn't help but blink surprised.

"That was Professor Mikahailov ,right?,"she asked with confusion woven into her voice.

"Errm, yes, he dropped me off. He spotted me and ---decided to give me a ride. " I rambled in one breath.

Her brows squashed together before she nodded and stumbled up into her room. I released a breath I didn't know I was holding.

Was our relationship that valid with so many lies?. Lucy told me everything. Even the slightest detail of her life and I on the other hand,

I felt like a traitor. She knew me but she didn't. She didn't know I was heartless, enough to ruin people's life and pretend like I was good,an angel. I felt terrible enough, it made bile ride up to my throat.

And this time, I was on the same path again. Because I relinquished in the ruination of others to find happiness. My life was a terrible thing, so I found it in me to ruin others.

As much as I was acting all carefree and more innocent with Israel, I still had one thing in mind. To break him completely as usual. To find that happiness. The same way I've always done. And he was falling for it, just as I wanted.

I couldn't get him sexually but soon. Now, I had him emotionally. He was emotionally attracted to me. With such a passion that a single touch from my hand would bring him out of his darkness and demons.

That was the most horrendous. Physically would have stung but Emotionally, that'd never heal. It would limit him to nothing. He'd turn to ashes and yet, it was what I wanted.

What was I?. I was no good.

I run up the stairs and knocked in Lucy's door. I crashed into her arms and sobbed. It was all coming down on me now. I was still on the same path. I wasn't going to change.

"I--I'm so sorry, Lucy, " I said groggily.

"Baby, stop please. There's nothing to forgive you about. You never did anything. " she cooed.

"Was it something that happened at the dinner party?, "

I nodded. Another lie.

"Oh, love. Calm down, everything will be fine. Trust me. " she rubbed my back soothingly. So delicate and soft. Oh, Lucy.

"I hate myself, " I sobbed harder. It was too deep. Too intense.

" Look at me. You're an amazing person, Cassie. I love you. "

She was too good.