For The Empire - Sempre

Chapter 66

STELLA

My vision blurs as the thundering, galloping-like sound takes over everything else.

A baby. 

"Mom..." Lucy steps closer to me. "You're having a baby!" Her eyes shine with fresh tears as she covers her mouth to hold in her cries. "This is the best news ever!" 

A baby. 

JP touches my arm and I look up at him. "Are you ok, princess?" His worried eyes bore into mine as I struggle to clear my thoughts through the mixed emotions I'm feeling. I'm happy--ecstatic really. 

But then the painful memories of losing our first baby find their way back from where I buried them all those years ago and I feel the anxiety and fear come over me at the possibility of going through another loss and I don't know if I can survive it. 

JP moves to sit in front of me as he cups my face. "Look at me, Stella," His voice cuts through my racing thoughts and I focus on his intense dark brown eyes. I reach for his hand on my face. "I...I...I don't want to lose another baby, John Paul," and the sob I've been fighting to keep in breaks free.

He wraps me in his arms, trying to calm me down. "The baby's fine; you hear that? Do you hear how strong the heart beat sounds?" I nod as tears are free falling, remembering the first time I heard our first baby's heart beat.

"Shh, take some deep breaths, baby." I close my eyes and do as he says and inhale deeply, taking in his scent by the lungfuls. His hold on me is gentle yet firm. 

After a few minutes, he leans back and brushes my hair away from my face as well as wiping the tears away. "It's different this time, amore." He looks back at me and I feel the strength in his confidence. 

"John Paul," Damian interjects. "The reality is, even if the baby survives through the recovery, the effects of the medicine and the trauma of the wound on her side...might prevent the progression of the pregnancy or there may be some developmental reverberations that may occur." 

JP stands glancing at Topo and with that Topo, announces to the older kids it's time to head back home. They don't argue, as they can feel the tension in the room between JP and Damien. They each hug me and tell me they'll be back tomorrow. 

JP walks towards the door and then turns to face Damien, even though he's further from me, I can feel the anger radiating from him and his shoulders rise and fall quickly with how hard he's breathing. "Are you suggesting we terminate the pregnancy?" His words are forced through his clenched jaw.

Damien sighs and rubs a hand down his tired face. "I'm saying you should consider the risks if you don't, John Paul. Not to mention the dangers it poses for Stella. You wouldn't want subject her to putting her life at risk for the sake of what may not be, would you?"

JP's eyes darken as he continues listening to Damien and takes a menacing step towards him. 

"John Paul."

He stops when he hears me, but keeps his eyes are focused on Damien. "Come here, please." He turns all the while still giving Damien a death glare before his angry eyes soften as he looks back at me. I hold my hand out to him and he takes it gently in his and I pull him to sit with me. His jaw muscles tick with the pent up anger he wants to release. 

"Damien," I look over a Damien who's watching us. "I understand what you're saying and you know JP would not want to put my life at risk." I squeeze JP's hand after I interlace my fingers with his. 

"But...you even said, despite what's happened, it's a miracle this baby survived and I think that's worth giving him or her a chance. If my health or life become compromised in any way, then yes, we can look at what needs to be done then, but right now, I think the fact that this baby is here-- alive--is worth fighting for, rather than worrying about all the 'what if's'."