For The Empire - Sempre

Chapter 32

The next couple of weeks after the funeral were emotional, chaotic, and hard. However, everyone made a conscious effort to keep the kids busy and their routines going each day.

Lola and Toby appeared to adjust as well as they could with their grief at first. But then, little by little, we would see signs of their pain playing out in different ways.

For Lola, she would play with her dolls and act out one of them dying, but then would "wake up," and everything would be fine, and everyone would be happy. But, then this last week, she's also woken up several times, in the middle of the night, wetting the bed.

At first, we thought we thought she was just trying to find ways to get to sleep in JP's bed, but then my mom told me she wet his bed the last two nights, too.

She's also broken down a few times when JP has left the house for meetings and clings to his leg, crying and begging him not to go; she expresses he won't come back if he leaves.

He stayed with her the first few times, but on days like today, we had to pry her arms and legs from around him as she screamed and yelled when he walked out each time. Once she settles down, she usually falls asleep crying on me, Miles or Kai.

Toby's setbacks are different types of regressions. He was potty trained early at the age of two but would still use pull-ups at night. But then, during the last week, he's had several accidents throughout the day.

His sleeping pattern has changed as well, and he started waking up in the middle of the night; My mom or I have taken turns at night with him, and we explain to him it's still night and keep the lights very dim; reminding him its quiet time, but he usually wants to play.

We've kept his bedtime consistent, hoping he returns to his regular sleep schedule, but at this point, it seems endless.

Carmen asked Lucy to sleep with her for the first little while, too. She's been having nightmares, but after the first few nights, I could see the lack of sleep was affecting Lucy. So, on the nights my mom is with Toby, I'm usually with Carmen.

During the day, Carmen's despondent, and when she does talk, it's usually guilt-ridden conversations.

She'll say things like if she just spent more time with Melanie, maybe she would have stayed better longer. Or, if she didn't waste so much time being afraid, she would have been able to spend more time with her.

And then there's Marco.

He grieves silently, not wanting to be a burden to anyone. Everyone visits with him daily to make sure he eats and gets time outside, and he also tries to help out a lot with his younger brother and sisters.

"Are you coming tonight?" Letty asks me, bring me out of my zombie-like mood. I push my soup around that I thought was a good idea to have for dinner, but now it seems so unappealing to me.

"Where?"

"It's the grand opening, remember?" Jessica comments as she finishes her sandwich.

I had completely forgotten about it. I shake my head, telling them I will be with the kids since that will mean JP will be out late.

"So, I guess this means goodbye?" Letty states sadly. The girls will be heading back to Miami tomorrow morning.

"Yeah, I guess it is." I walk over to them as Letty hops off the stool, but I notice she winces as she walks.

"Did you hurt yourself during practice?" I ask, concerned.

Letty chuckles, "No, not exactly. Let's just say Rio made good on making sure I wouldn't be able to walk right after we..."