𝟮 𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗨𝗦 𝟭. ❥ sungtaro.

October 12th

"Jungwoo's worried."

Shotaro, who had been seated at the desk listening to music, turned around when he heard those words. Sungchan was standing at the bedroom doorway, professional as ever, glasses on. Behind those, however, his eyebrows were condensed together, as if he was trying to see through Shotaro.

"What?"

"And he's not the only one." Sungchan lifted himself off the doorway, walking around so that he was behind Shotaro. He rested his arms on the older's shoulders, sighing in a way that had Shotaro questioning everything.

"What are you worried about?"

"Shotaro, you're not very slick. We're worried about you." Sungchan's voice was firm, but it started to waver. "You're not the same as you were, well, before."

Shotaro knew what before meant. He wanted to go back to before so badly, but he didn't feel confident in himself. He didn't trust himself. What if he screwed up again? The last thing that he would want to do is feel that initial emptiness again. Well, he'd always felt empty since that, but at least it was manageable.

"How can you expect me to?"

"Taro. You wouldn't completely fall apart after something like this. Obviously, it hurts, and I know. I'm your husband. I went through it too. But it feels like you're trying to get through all of this on your own, and it isn't working. When we got married, it was so that we could go through things together. I'm here, Shotaro. Jungwoo's there. Ten's there. Yangyang and Mark and Dejun and all of our other friends are there too. You're just not getting the help you need, and it's like torture waiting for you to come and get it."

Shotaro was silent. Of course, Sungchan was right, but that didn't mean that it didn't hurt to hear. While he had been ignoring his friends and family, there was a reason for that.

"I don't know if you'll give me what I need, though." The older didn't mean to sound so quiet, but it was too late. He cleared his throat, catching a sniffle before he could let it happen. "I... don't know how to explain it. I know you'll understand, but... I probably shouldn't still be affected, huh? I shouldn't think so poorly as I do about myself over something that happened almost six months ago."

"It's not how long you've been like this that's the issue." Those words brought down Shotaro's heart rate a little, because he knew he wasn't ready to just stop. "The issue is that you haven't gotten any better in those six months. If anything, things are getting worse."

Sungchan turned around Shotaro's chair so that they were face-to-face, sighed, and asked what he'd been meaning to since the beginning of the conversation.

"Do you want to see a therapist?"