𝟮 𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗨𝗦 𝟭. ❥ sungtaro.

September 29th

Shotaro visited Jungwoo just about two weeks later. He wanted to meet Corey, obviously, but he also wanted to make sure his best friend was doing well.

Turned out that he wasn't the only one thinking about that last point.

"I'm actually amazed," Jungwoo chuckled, but the smile on his face didn't quite reach his eyes. "He usually fusses a little whenever anyone picks him up."

"He always cries when I hold him," Robbie said, frowning.

Shotaro laughed, ruffling Robbie's hair before hoisting Corey a little higher on his body. The child had Jungwoo's wide eyes and Jaehyun's underlids, but seemed to have not inherited the dimples that his siblings had. If Robbie was a carbon copy of Jaehyun and Lili was Jungwoo, then Corey was like the perfect mix between the two of them. "So, you're done with kids?"

"Yeah. Robbie was like..." Jungwoo glanced to make sure that Robbie wasn't paying attention, "...a happy little surprise. I think three's enough." The smile that had been on his face since he'd laughed finally fell. "I hope you haven't stopped yet."

Shotaro's smile also dropped. He didn't know how to answer Jungwoo. He hadn't exactly been thinking that far into the future, unsure of if he trusted his own body to not fail again.

Jungwoo could see everything going on behind Shotaro's eyes. "I understand if it's too soon." Lili appeared out of nowhere, tugging on Jungwoo's pant leg, so he pulled her onto his lap swiftly. "I just don't want you to give up on yourself, Shotaro. You're amazing, you know."

Shotaro couldn't say anything back. He'd been hearing words of support from his friends, but they were all blending into nothingness. He had always hear about how you shouldn't let other's words affect your thoughts, but it seemed as though nobody had every thought about how things would end up if someone was using that advantage to make themself hurt.

"I'm not, Jungwoo," he finally settled on, eyes falling to the foor. "I'm not that great. I've already failed."

"Shotaro." The sharp tone that the older was using made the younger's eyes snap up. "You've always wanted to have kids. You're great around them. You can provide for them. So, and excuse me for sounding like I'm belittling your situation, why are you letting it all go after one opportunity?"

Those are more words that Shotaro didn't have an answer for. He had figured that he could just stick to being a godparent, but Jungwoo was right. It was how he got himself in the situation in the first place.

Why was it so hard for him to go back to that initial happiness?