𝟮 𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗨𝗦 𝟭. ❥ sungtaro.

May 7th

Shotaro opened his door to see Dejun standing there, a bouquet of white lilies in his hands. The look on his face was mainly solemn, and he seems to peek past the younger. "Where's Sungchan?"

"Work." Shotaro tapped the doorframe, eyes now falling to the flowers. "Who are the flowers for? Kun?"

Dejun shook his head, looking down as though he was ashamed. "No, actually. They're for you." He held them out to Shotaro, sighing a little. "Look, I'm sorry about the mis–"

"Please don't say it."

"Right. But I wanted to bring you these because, well, they're flowers. Actually, Kun, Lea, and I went to a lotus garden together the other week. You and Sungchan should go. It was beautiful."

"I'll think about it." The mention of Lea, a child, just broke Shotaro's heart a little more than necessary. He loved Dejun and all, but talking to any of his peers had become more like a gruesome task.

Now that he heard about the garden, Shotaro thought he remembered Dejun sending pictures of Lea in her cute little hat and her cute little overalls in the "moms" (Ten's words, not his) groupchat that he and the rest of their friends shared. Actually, he, Ten, and Yangyang were the only ones in there who hadn't had children yet, but it wasn't from lack of effort on Shotaro's side.

Now he felt like he was going to throw up.

"Anyways." Dejun patted Shotaro on the back, and the latter realized that he still hadn't taken the flowers. He did so quickly. "I'll see you soon. Tell Sungchan I said hi."

"Thanks, will do." is all the younger said, watching the older trail down the steps to the house. Once that was done, he closed the door with a heavy sigh, nearly dropping the lilies in his hand.

He doubted that Dejun knew that the flowers meant purity and fertility.

Shotaro wasn't going to stay standing any longer, let alone awake. He found a vase to put the flowers in, added water, and started climbing up the stairs to reach his bedroom.

Sungchan later came home to him in the dark, curled up in a tight ball, bedsheets strewn everywhere but over his body, sweating and crying softly.

***

i just wanted to throw in lilies then i decided to read the flower meaning and it fIT