I've completely opened up to Lea without truly thinking about it. It's as if I've only just woken up, and found myself pouring my heart out to her in a hospital room that she definitely should not be in. She probably thinks I'm a weirdo now, yet confessing my anguish has, in some way, albeit a small way, eased it. That felt good, to finally to talk to someone about other than Jake and Ky. 

       For starters, don't even talk to me about Jake. If I mention it to him, he'd just pat my shoulder and say 'dude, I'm really not good with these types of things. I'll make you tea if you want, but don't cry on me.' Of course he means it as a joke, but I really want to smack him sometimes. First of all; that's fucking gross. Secondly, can you be mature for just a second, Jake?

         Anyway, moving onto Ky. You'd think he would be of help, right? But, Ky also had a thing with Emily. He fell for her long before she and Nick started dating, but was too scared to ask her out. Sometimes I think he feels more guilty than Jake and I put together. After all, we all could have saved her in some way or another, yet he was there the night of the accident, he was with her the night of the crash. He'd seen her drive off with...him.

         But he didn't do anything to stop it.

         I'm not angry with Ky, though. I'm angry at myself because I could've been there that night, I could've been there and saved my sister from him.

         From Nick.

         Back then, Nick and I were good friends. I respected him and cared for him like a brother, so when he started dating my sister, I didn't think there was ever a better match for her. At that point, I trusted more in Nick than in Jake or Ky. 

       One year ago, however, that all changed. 

       One year ago, the same night of Emily's accident, it was mine and Georgia's anniversary. The night before, Emily had called me, inviting me to a birthday party. Although she whined when I declined the offer, she understood as I promised Georgia we would celebrate our two years together. 

         Gah, when I look back it seems so stupid.

         When she spoke, I should have guessed something was wrong - she wasn't her usual bubbly self; I felt she was withholding something from me. Why didn't I ask her what was wrong? I have no idea, aside from the fact that I thought little of her uneasy tone and brushed it aside. By the end of the phone call, she told me to have a good time celebrating my anniversary, and I told her to have fun at the party.


         According to Ky, that night at the party, Nick and Emily argued, and it quickly became heated. Nick was seen forcing her outside and into his car and drove her away while intoxicated, which isn't like the Nick I knew. To this day, I don't know what made him so livid to the extent where he endangered the girl he claimed to love. I've asked Ky that question over and over for the past year, he doesn't seem to know why either. I would find out from Nick if it weren't for my strong want of making decent contact between my fist and his face. He never served his time as he should have. His rotten father is to blame for that; finding the best lawyers in the country, Nick managed to get away with only a few hours of community service and alcohol and drug rehabilitation. 

         One guy who I considered a brother, is now someone that I can happily spit on. Therefore, when I saw him with Lea at his party last week, my mind took me back to a year ago, and the violent memories of the incident resurfaced. So, I wanted to do what I didn't do for Emily, and get Lea as far away from him as possible.

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