Only you know my name

Chapter 27

Wei Wuxian was surrounded by flashing images of many events, all flying around him and not letting him catch a break. He felt like the flood was gaining ground on him and he was afraid that he would never be able to escape it. There was so much, so much to look at and he could now remember all of it, the good and the bad. He remembered how foolish he had once been and he also understood why Lan Qiren had been so angry with him and decided to punish him by being sealed away.

He was not sure he had entirely deserved it, but looking back, he could not deny that it had served its purpose. He could not have been called the god of wisdom in his past, not like he could partly be right now. He was sure that there was still so much knowledge he had to gain, however, he had had an entire thousand years to think and to understand the world even if he could not actually see it. He would not go as far as to thank Lan Qiren for the punishment, he had suffered too much because of it, but it was crystal clear to him that it had helped him to gain a new perspective on things.

Suddenly, in the middle of the storm of his memories, there was a steady presence which was calling out to him. He smiled to himself. He should have known that Lan Wangji would not leave him drowning and would come for him. He focused on the other half of his soul and soon, his head stopped spinning and he could breathe normally again.

He was no longer drowning in the images of his own past. He was now sure that what he had seen were his memories. And Lan Wangji – or Lan Zhan at that time – had been in them also. He knew he would never get to know what had really happened after he had been sealed away and Lan Zhan came back to the heavenly realm, but he could imagine it quite vividly.

If the current Lan Wangji who did not even know him all that well was getting this angry on his behalf, how insistent and heartbroken the Lan Zhan of the past must have been? Alas, there was no way the man in question would remember any of that after his reincarnation.

Wei Wuxian was looking at him now and he saw the same person as he had seen in his memories. Lan Wangji was no longer a boy but a young man, possibly in his early twenties. This only proved further just how much he cared about Wei Wuxian that he was now ready to take up his duties and judge his own uncle guilty.

Wei Wuxian was still too confused to actually pay attention to what exactly was being said, he could only see the righteous anger on Lan Wangji's face and could feel the way his hands were wrapped around his now adult body protectively. With the realization which he had just made about his past, he had accepted his duties as the god of wisdom and he would uphold them without a fail.

That was exactly why he could no let Lan Wangji condemn his uncle to any harsh punishment. Firstly, Lan Qiren did it for Wei Wuxian's own good, although he had not explained anything clearly at that time. He had been angry, sure, but his words carried their own wisdom with them. He had said after all that Wei Wuxian should use that time to reform himself.

And secondly, even if he held any grudge against the ruler of the Heavenly Court, he would not be able to blame him for something Lan Qiren could not remember after his reincarnation. Nie Huisang had said that all of the gods had been reincarnated during the last thousand years which meant that no one aside for Lan Wangji who had seen it in his memories knew anything about his punishment. It was even possible that Lan Qiren had intended to unseal him after only several years but he was forced to reincarnate too soon so everyone forgot about the sealed away child god. While it was all very sad, they could not be blamed for the circumstances.

"As the god of justice, I proclaim..."

Wei Wuxian quickly intervened before Lan Wangji would do something he did not really mean and had not thought through. He was sure that if he had condemned his uncle right now and would later realize that Lan Qiren did not remember what he had been just accused of, he would blame himself. He felt a little weak after regaining his memories but he still had to stop the other.

He reached his hand up and gently caressed Lan Wangji's wrist in what he hoped was a soothing gesture: "Lan Wangji, it is fine. Do not be hasty lest you will regret it later on." He waited till the other would look at him before continuing: "Your uncle and everyone else here had been already reincarnated, they do not remember what had happened in the past. You cannot blame them for something they had done in another life. And for me, it was in another life as well. Although I have just regained my memories, it feels too surreal. I had forgotten once and I would not mind leaving the past alone again."

Lan Wangji did not look convinced and his mouth was already coming open to refute his statements. Wei Wuxian gave him a gentle smile and decided to put it in another way. Lan Wangji had to realize for himself that he was doing just what he had been afraid of, judging someone based only on one side of the story. He had not listened to his uncle, his brother nor Wei Wuxian himself. That would not do.

"Well, let me put it in another way. I am apparently the victim here. And if I decided that I do not want to seek justice and hold any grudges, then there is no need for any trial. All the more that no one could be held accountable for their past mistakes. Punishments should be only used to correct one's mistakes they knew about and to help them find the righteous path. Just like your uncle when he made me realize that I should be a proper god of wisdom and not play around too much. If punishment is just used to make one suffer, then they will not be reformed and all result you will get would be hatred and more malice.

So, Lan Wangji, let the bygones be bygones and let us move on. Hm?"

Lan Wangji was looking at him with wide eyes and Wei Wuxian was glad to see realization in them. The anger had now disappeared, only sadness and compassion remained. He gave out a small sigh, it seemed like he had managed to stop what could have been a tragedy. The Heavenly Court could not go without a ruler and no matter what Lan Qiren had done to him in the past, he knew that he was one of the best for the position.

Lan Wangji nodded at him with gratitude in his eyes: "Mn, thank you Wei Wuxian."

He did not have to add anything more, Wei Wuxian knew very well what he was thanking him for. He gave a reassuring smile and let himself be helped up onto his feet. He was happy that he could have helped Lan Wangji again.