Not long after, as I was sitting in Johnny's living room, I got a text from Thomas. At first, I saw his name on my notifications and I totally dismissed it. I figured I had made it clear that I didn't want any contact with him but then, as I put my phone away, I realized Thomas had probably understood the message. So if he was reaching out, either he was in trouble or some shit had gone down. I grabbed my phone again.
-What is it?-Johnny asked, somewhat bothered by my actions. I looked at him confused.-You look like an impatient teenage girl. What are you up to?
-Thomas texted me.-I said as I unlocked my phone. He knew all about Thomas except how we ended up friends... I never really talked about my father to anyone, or the harsh time I had growing up. I just wasn't ready to share that.
-Hmm... Interesting.-He said as he shoved a big spoon of cereals in his mouth, like a damn caveman.
-Exactly.-I opened the text.-He says "Call me ASAP". Sounds urgent...
-ASAP... Who even says that anymore?-Johnny mumbled. I ignored him and lighted up a smoke. Then, I called Thomas.
-Mike.-He said on the other side of the line.
-Hey, what's up? Hell of a cliffhanger there. What's going on?-I asked him, coldly.
-Oh man...-He sighted.-Are you sitting down?
-Just spill it out already.
-It's your mom... She's... I...-His voice started cracking and I just knew... I knew what it was all about.-I found her yesterday... I didn't know how to tell you... I still don't know... She took her own life, Mike.-My heart sank. I hadn't talked with my mom in ages... I had no idea she felt that way. She seemed happy last time I saw her... I was speechless for a second.-Mike?
-Yeah...-I coughed, clearing my voice.-Thanks for letting me know.-I hung up. I wasn't really able to process the information right away. I just sat there looking down to my phone.
-So?-Johnny asked.-The suspense is killing me!-He joked.
-Hm... My mom's dead.-I wanted to speak, but it came out as a whisper.
-Well, du-uh! Kinda been like 24 years, get over it!-He mocked me, unaware of what was happening.
-No, I mean my adoptive mom, La'Kisha.-I sighted. Johnny literally chocked on his own cereals and coughed for like 5 minutes.
-Damn! I'm so sorry, Mike... I didn't mean to... -He was really embarrassed. -What happened?
-She killed herself, I guess.
-Oh man...-He gave me a pitiful look.
-It doesn't matter. We weren't close.-I brushed it off and got up. I got myself a glass of whiskey. It wasn't even midday.
-Still... Losing a parent sucks, no matter what.
-Oh, trust me. It ain't always like that.-I put my drink down.-Besides, I've lost like 4 parents already. I'm familiarized with the process.
I pretended I was all good, but inside I was hurting a lot. La'Kisha was never a perfect mom, but she was the one whose love I never doubted. In her own way, she did the best she could for me... That is until I became too much of a reminder. She loved my dad profoundly, even with all the beatings and all the misery.
Looking at me was a constant reminder of how she lost him. A part of her always blamed me, and maybe it was my fault... Looking at me became unbearable for her. I was her son, but I was also the man who killed her lover. She grew conflicted... then I joined the Academy. I guess she realized it was less painful to just stay away, I realized she didn't notice my absence at all and gradually we grew apart. I would always check in with her at least once every three months to make sure she was alright, make sure she had a roof, food, money... But lately she was harder and harder to reach, always switching numbers, never really picking up her phone. I knew something was up when a fellow policeman from another station let me know she was being held for drugs possession and vandalism. I tried to get to her, but they could only hold her for 24h and I was late. By the time I got there she was gone... And then my life kind of exploded!
