Time passed by. I gained Quintin's trust easily, since he was more than willing to trust me. And over time, we became really close. At first, because it was what I had agreed to do in return for the tapes but then... As time flew by, I realized he truly wished me well, cared for me and worried about me. We became friends and a few weeks later I cared for him as if he was blood from my blood. The old man really conquered my heart. And the way he'd talk about my parents... I didn't know much but I could tell he truly cared for them, specially my mom. In his eyes, she was nothing like I pictured her. He'd often describe her as caring, a little psycho but deep down had a good heart. The more I heard him talk about her, the more I related.
And the guys from the club, guess what? They weren't so bad after all. It was nothing like I imagined! Most of them were in it just for the fun of riding, for the freedom and the brotherhood... And man, let me tell ya... I had never experienced anything like it! It was like one giant ass family! Can you imagine what it's like to walk inside a room and everyone cares for you? Apart from some rotten apples, there were no second intentions, nothing expected of you, just plain, black and white love. Can you imagine what it's like to walk into a room full of people and feel home? Feel safe, loved and cared for? I thought I had had a family, my adoptive parents... That was the family I had, that's what I thought family meant my whole life! And it wasn't until I found the club that I understood the true meaning of family, of unconditional love, of acceptance...
Every day I felt heavier and heavier with guilt. At first I was so sure, so secure about my choices but then... Quintin. The club. The boys! So much can change in a few weeks and when the time came for me to meet my end of the bargain, I just wasn't so sure anymore.
-It's going down.-Rick told me, nervously. I guess in a way he too sensed the shift inside me.
-I can't do it, man... It ain't right! I can't do 'em like that! Quintin has fed me and gave me a home for the past month! I can't just turn around and betray him like that! I ain't built like that... I...
-You can't back down now!-He was pissed.-'cause if you do, you know those tapes will be delivered back in the station first thing in the morning. I've arranged so.
-Rick...-I sighted.
-You better get your head right! I want to help you, but if it comes down to it, I will fuck up your entire life. You think I'll lose sleep over you? You think it bothers me to throw your ass in jail? Hell, I'll even testify against you.
-Fine! Shut up!-I took a deep breath- I get it! Don't worry. It will all go down just like we planned... Cross my heart!-I promised. He sighted, rubbed his hands together and smiled.
-And so history repeats itself... Never ceases to amaze me.-He finished his beer and left, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
His plan was for me to do as my mother had done before. He wanted the presidency of the club. Quintin was in the way so the plan was simple. My mother had already paved the road for him, nothing new. He wanted me to kill Quintin and take control of the club. Then, he'd raise his own faction within the club, plot revenge against me in Quintin's name, "kill me" and end up as the hero, therefore making sure the big chair at the head of the table was his. There. Using history to make history. Somewhat clever... And I'd get what I wanted. He'd fake my death, handle me the tapes and I'd be on my way, never to return. I'd go back to my shithole town and see my badge again.
It was what I once wanted... It was almost a perfect plan. Almost. Except for the part I actually fell in love with the club, the people, the brotherhood, even the motorcycles. I had never gotten on a motorcycle before, but when I did, except for the times I fell in the beginning, I felt so free... It made my blood run faster in my veins, my heart beat stronger, but I somehow felt calmer, at peace. Every time I was riding, it was like the world simply didn't exist and nothing else mattered but the bike, the road, the horizon. I felt more alive than I ever did before.
