psithurism | DNF

chapter 29

He checked his phone, squinting from the sudden light to eliminate the darkroom. It was four in the morning.

Immediately he looked outside his window. His immediate thought in the morning was, 'What's the weather like today'.

It was snowing. It was snowing! He rushed out of bed like he'd never seen snow before, like a little kid on Christmas seeing it was snowing.

He quickly kneeled before his window and placed his elbow onto the window space. He fantasized every livable fantasy he could while gazing out to the flakes falling rapidly.

He stared at the stars he wish he could paint bloody red, maybe one day he'll be able to.

Suddenly he heard shifting behind him, but he chose not to look back in worry that it might be Dream. He took a deep breath, holding it till he heard footsteps. He let it out quietly.

He continued to act like he didn't know someone was even awake. Until he couldn't pretend anymore, they had tapped on his shoulder.

He looked back, it was Karl.

He let out one of the many sighs that needed to be let out ever since he had come here.

"What're you doing up so early?" Karl said groggily, rubbing his eyes while doing so. His hair looked like a bird's nest, he tried to control his giggle though.

"Just looking outside, what else would I be doing?" George shrugged, looking back over to the falling specs.

Karl hummed in response, sitting next to him, "George?"

George hummed a, 'what?'.

"Are you happy?"

George wasn't expecting that question. Sure he was, right? He couldn't keep lying to himself. Of course, he wasn't happy! He was anything besides happy. His mind was slowly rotting and soon enough he would take care of it himself. But he didn't know that yet.

He was sick at heart, every day it felt as if his heart was shutting down now his prime source was practically out of his life. All because of a past lover. Who he wished wasn't past in this life.

Life is hard. Then you die. What was the point then? Just to wake up in pure misery and repeat the same cycle till he died. Put at peace, to put it another way.

"No." He finally responded. George was tired of lying, but the second it left his mouth, guilt started to prick at his skin. He wished he hadn't even replied. He could deal with his problems and certainly didn't need anyone to talk to.

But he did. And he was too heartsick to realize.

"I can tell," Karl sighed, "I'm here if you need it, George, you know you aren't alone, right?"

But George didn't want anyone to realize, this just meant he would have to try harder to seem happy. To pretend like he cared. To pretend like he enjoyed getting up in the morning and starting his to a not repeating cycle. But it was a repeating cycle, how would he do this?

"I know, thanks, Karl." He smiled, this was a start. But there was absolutely nothing in his mind stopping him from thinking he wasn't alone. He had no one in his mind.

Because he wasn't allowed to share his emotions with anyone. And if he did, the world would be angry at him and decline his already pending requests of keeping the world as pretty as it was.

"I'm gonna head back to bed, wake me if you need anything." Karl smiled before getting up and heading back to his bed.

———

He was at his fourth period, just a few minutes before lunch. His lunch table consisted of Karl, Sapnap, and Quackity.

Dream used to sit with them, but ever since everything went down for what seemed like the thousandth time, he had stopped sitting with them.

But he hadn't seen him with anyone? He tried not to think about where he might be, but Dream was the only thing on his mind.

Dream, Dream, Dream.

He tried to stop his mind from the wandering thought of Dream being with Leo. But surely Dream wasn't that cruel.

After all of Leo's manipulative behavior, why would he go back to him? George could ask himself the same thing. Why would George go back to Dream after manipulating him?

George tried to cover up his actions and pretend he wasn't a good man in the moment, but he was. He missed the old Dream.

Suddenly the bell had rung, he grabbed his bag and headed out the door. He rushed, maybe a little too much, considering he bumped into someone.

There was Dream, standing proudly, with Leo by his side.

——————

yoooo? me in my cliffhanger arc for the 2928th time?????! who would've guessed. anyways i hope this chapter was well written enough:D i kinda have more motivation to write idk if y'all can tell but my spark of motivation is slowly being lit, woop woop!!

i know this chapter concludes a lot of feeling like you're alone and no one cares  and that you aren't allowed to talk to anyone about your emotions but i promise you with all my heart, you are never alone. i have been put in this situation before and finding the right people and talking to them has helped me so so much:) there are plenty of people in this world that care for you and are willing to talk to you if you need it. this includes me so please please if you ever need someone to talk to you i'm always here for you<3 either dm me on here or on discord! my discord is ali<3#4012, feel free to add me:) remember to drink some water and eat something if you haven't!! i'm beyond proud of you love, keeping going!!<33

have a good rest of your day/night!

best regards,
-ali<3