psithurism | DNF

chapter 29

TW: Bad mental health, self-harm, 'thought' of suicide, it's hard to explain. dm me if you need anyone to talk to, you aren't alone<3.

Also, I do use song lyrics in this chapter, find them if you can ;) but listen to the song 'Watching Him Fade Away' by Mac DeMarco because I think it goes well with this chapter!

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*One month later*

He will never let Dream know how much he cried that night. The night that happened one month ago that he couldn't quite get over.

Over him. Why him?

Why. Why. Why. Why?

He had told Sapnap he would soon get over it and he didn't need his help. Because he was a handful right? Even Leo took time out of his day to tell him he was too much to handle, how did he know this?

The pieces weren't clicking for George, not yet.

Dream telling him he was a handful was enough, but Leo?

The past month had been living hell, and he meant it. When he imagine hell, he imagined this.

He was suffocating in his thoughts every time his brain gave him the chance too. It's not like he wanted the chance, but his brain pushed it back to him either way.

He felt threatened when anyone asked him if he needed assistance with absolutely anything. If he replied yes, he was a needy brat, and if he answered no, he was a self-centered boy that needed to be told that he doesn't have to be alone in everything. Because he couldn't do anything but he had to.

For the sake of getting better, he had to.

Dream had tried apologizing to George multiple times but George kept his head down. It gave him a weird feeling of hope, that maybe Dream would maybe, just maybe deserve one more chance?

Thirds times a charm, right?

What made Dream suddenly act like this was beyond him. Who or what did this to his beloved, or once was his beloved.

He had a little spark in him waiting to be lightened by Dream to somehow prove himself. And if Dream gave up and went off with some other, everything in his life that was flickering, holding on for any sign of life, would shut off completely.

He had noticed he began to hate the world around him, not for any reason in particular. But if he could, he would paint the stars a bloody red to make everyone hate the world around him as well.

Except that would take away the prettiness of the world. But he couldn't help but think that way.

Just so he had the feeling of not being alone.

And every time he felt alone, he would dig his fingers into his palms. A way of punishing himself for causing all this. Making himself feel alone.

It was all his fault, and he knew it.

Sapnap checked in on him every day, and he appreciated it ever so much, but he would always reply with,

"I'm good, how are you?"

Because saying 'I'm fine' wasn't believable, and they both knew that.

To think Dream and George could stay the same, but they were two slow dancers, last ones out.

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Instead of Dream waking him up this time, it was himself to wake him up. Just a little bit earlier than usual.