Face To Face With The Devil

Chapter 49

I pulled into my driveway and walked into the garage to get some more things, my heart felt heavy and every time I blinked tears threaten to form but I would just look up at the sky and make sure I knew how much I deserved to feel this way.

It's all my fault. The sound of a car driving by and then stopping filled my ears but I kept my head forward to focused on packing my last bag before I left. 

The car door slammed shut and I turned my head a little trying to see who it was but the feeling in my gut was already telling me.

The sky was a dark grey and the sun was hidden by the clouds setting an overcast onto the ground.

I had to leave soon.

I have to go.

"A fucking letter, Fay that's how you were going to say goodbye?"

My heart dropped and I slowly turned around and saw Seb standing by his car walking over to me, he had just come from the school as he was in his dress shirt with the selves rolled up, his hair was messy from running his hand through it and his eyes held a frighten painful glare.

His words cut through me like a sharp blade and dug deep into my skin sending ripples of pain to shoot through my body, I caused this.

This is all my fault.

"Seb you can't be here I have to leave soon," I tried to keep my voice sharp and cut but instead when I opened up my mouth my voice cracked and wavered showing him how weak I was.

"I know, I know that you were going to leave without saying goodbye to anyone," I couldn't do this, he had to leave. I had to make him leave.

"Seb please don't do this."

"No Fay you cant do this, Fay you promised that you wouldn't give up on us."

His deep voice that I had always found comfort in was now slicing through my body making me feel all of the pain I was causing everyone else.

"I know Seb and I'm so sorry, I'm not giving up I'm trying to do what's right for someone other than myself, for the first time in my life but you have to listen to me," if I had to leave I was going to make sure he understood why.

"To hear what? that you have to say goodbye and that I'll never see you again?"

Pain and anger laced his voice, he was so broken and so fucking hurt all because of me, I thought that I was doing something good by leaving him but it almost felt as though it was hurting him more by leaving me.

I knew it was hurting him and yet I still left. My heart broke into tiny pieces at the thought of that.

"I love you Fay and I know that you love me so why the fuck are you saying that you're leaving me?" His green eyes that were always so calm when he looked at me were now filled with hatred and pain as I blind sighted him.

"Seb I told you what happened before I came here and all of that shit could never stay hidden and we both knew that," that's not true, he didn't know that because I rarely told him shit.

The sky rumbled in the background and the dark grey that was cast upon us grew colder.

I refused to cry, as much as I felt like I will break down. I knew that crying would make everything more real to me.

"When I met you I knew that I would have to leave after graduation."

I released the truth to him after hiding it in the dark since the day I met him, he now knew the truth. "So after everything, you're telling me that you always knew that you had to leave me?"