My Cruel Mates

Chapter 40

  **Trigger Warning: Pregnancy Loss**

Claire

I hold my breath while I wait for Rowan to tell me he found a heartbeat. Instead he lets out a feral roar and pushes himself onto his feet, storming into the house. I choke on a sob and look to Bennett who stands rigid, his mouth set in a grim line.

"Bennett...?" I plead. He sighs heavily and walks up to me, reaching for my hands and threading our fingers together.

"Claire..." He says, his voice soft and sad. I know what it means. I know what he's going to tell me, but I can't understand it. It's like my mind can't grip the concept. I won't be able to until he tells me. Until I hear the words.

He opens his mouth to speak, but at that moment Rowan bursts through the front door, dragging the man by his hair. The dagger is still protruding from his stomach and I nearly heave at the sight. Bennett takes a protective stance in front of me, putting me behind him and wrapping his arm around me.

"Take her home." Rowan says, his voice deadly quiet. I can feel the rage radiating from every pore in his body. He shifts faster than I've ever seen him and he grabs the man with his large talons before taking flight. Pushing off the ground, his wings expanding as the rush of air sorrounds us. I hear the man's screams as they fade into the distance. Bennett takes a heavy breath and turns back to me.

"Bennett... Please." I whisper and his tortured eyes meet mine.

"There's no heartbeat, Claire." He says quietly, his voice breaking on my name. A sob escapes me, I cover my mouth with the back of my hand as tears flood down my face.

"Are you sure? Check again, Bennett. Please." I beg him, pulling him towards me. He shakes his head and reaches out to rub his hand gently over my belly.

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart. I'm so sorry." He says, tears slipping down his own face. "It was the gold. It's toxic to dragons in large enough amounts and... he's so small, baby. He didn't stand a chance." Bennett says, clearing his throat. He wraps his strong arms around me and I release my emotions, my body shaking violently as I sob against him. He cries with me until I hear the rumble of car tires. He looks up, but I stay tucked into his chest.

I hear him talking and I look up briefly. I find Alaina, watching me with distraught eyes filled with unshed tears. She runs her fingers through my hair and presses a kiss to my temple before doing the same to Bennett. He lifts me and carries me to the car, but I don't register anything than his arms around me.

They are the only thing keeping me together as the rest of me falls apart.

Bennett slides into the backseat with me on his lap, rubbing his hands up and down my back as he tries to soothe the open wound in my soul. Alaina gets in the front and begins to drive, but my mind is numb to anything other than the fact that my baby is dead.

I sniffle and try to dry my tears while clinging to Bennett, begging him to make it go away. The pain, the sorrow. He holds me tight, pressing his face into my neck plating kisses everywhere his lips can reach.

"It's gonna be ok, baby. Everything will be ok." He tells me through his tears. His voice is hoarse and his eyes are dull. I don't think even he believes what he's saying.

"How, Bennett? How are we going to be ok?" I ask, anger tinting my tone. He sighs and presses his lips to my forehead.

"Because I love you. I have to believe that everything will be ok." He says firmly and I sigh, leaning in closer to him. His body warms me and I stop trembling as we reach our house.

"I have a doctor waiting to see her." Alaina says quietly. Another whimper escapes my throat at the thought of having our worst nightmare confirmed.

The doctor does what she needs to do, mutters the appropriate platitudes for our loss, and leaves quietly.

I lay in our bed alone, in silence, trying to contemplate what has happened. I was so relieved, so happy, when I got out of there. I thought the worst of it was over, that I had escaped hell.

Little did I know I had just entered it.

Bennett comes to the doorway and leans against it, crossing his arms over his chest. He heaves a heavy sigh before chewing on his bottom lip, his eyes rake over me worriedly. Concern is etched on every inch of his face and I can find nothing in myself to help alleviate it. I know he is suffering. I know he is heartbroken too, but I don't know how to make him feel better. I don't know how to even start healing from this pain.

I hold my arms out to him, not sure what else to do but knowing I want him close to me. He chokes on a sob as fresh tears fill his eyes. He practically runs across the room and launches himself into my arms. We lay together and cry some more. He holds me so tight it's nearly painful, but it's soothing in a way. Like proof I'm still alive. That the monster didn't kill all of me.

Remembering him makes me suddenly feel filthy. The fact that he touched me while I was unconcious makes my stomach queasy and I feel the overwhelming urge to get clean.

"I need to shower, Ben." I tell him quietly. I think he can hear the desperation in my voice or sense it deep within my soul because he nods and stands.

He lifts me and carries me into our bathroom, sitting me on the toilet while he turns on the water. He lifts the shirt from my head and pulls my pants down, chucking them both into the garbage can. He strips himself before picking me up again and stepping into the warm spray. A sigh of relief leaves me at the feeling and I relax into his arms. He sits on the bench and holds me close. I soak up every ounce of his affection. It seems to be the only thing that makes me feel like I'm not losing my mind. He washes my hair gently and a few more tears track down my face. I don't even notice them until Bennett reaches up to wipe them away. I give him a sad smile and lean forward to peck his lips with an innocent kiss. He gives me a smile in return and I tuck my face into his neck, wanting to stay under the purifying water for as long as he will let me.

Much too soon he shuts the water off and dries me before dressing me. I feel like a doll, but my body is still sore and exhausted as well as my mind so I let him take care of me. After he tucks me in, I grip his hand to keep him from moving away.

"Thank you, Bennett. I love you." I say quietly, hoping my voice portrays my honesty over my heartbreak. He gives me a sad smile and nods.

"I love you too, little one. So much." He whispers earnestly, kissing my head and letting his lips linger. I close my eyes and soak in his touch until a throat clears from the hallway. We both look in the direction of the door where Alaina is standing with an apologetic smile.

"I'm going to head out, unless you need anything else. I made some food, in case you're hungry. The doctor said you should eat a little something, Claire. To gain your strength back." She says and I shake my head.

"I'm not hungry." I tell her firmly. She nods and walks up to sit on the edge of the bed next to me.

"I know, sweetie. I'm so sorry for what has happened to you. If you need anything, please call me. Celeste and I will come check on you tomorrow." She says before leaning forward to wrap her arms around me. Her kindness pierces my heart and a few more traitorous tears fall. I watch as Alaina slips from the room silently and Bennett climbs into bed beside me. His warm arms wrap around me and pull me into his chest. I breathe in his scent, letting it coat my frazzled nerves and wounded spirit. I try to make my body relax against him, willing the reprieve of sleep to overtake me.

"Where's Rowan?" I ask, my voice a needy whine.

"Taking care of that monster." Bennett answers, his voice hard with his anger.

"He should be here. With us." I murmur and Bennett nods.

"I know." He responds sadly.