My Cruel Mates

Chapter 12

Claire

Human

The word has a sobering effect on me. A reminder that I would never be more than a plaything to them. Especially to Rowan. The thought absorbs any lust that was left in my body, making me instantly regret what I had just done. I avert my eyes from Rowan and he senses the change in atmosphere, pulling back from me to eye me with confusion. I take advantage of the extra space, using it to duck under his arm and scurry from the shower. I hear him let out a frustrated huff as the shower door shuts behind me.

He doesn't say anything and I don't give him the chance. I grab a towel and wrap my body quickly before moving into the bedroom. I dress quickly in Bennett's clothes, not wanting to be there when Rowan came out. I grabbed a large blanket from the closet and wrapped it around me like a coccoon, trying to protect myself from the depression burrowing itself into my mind and soul. I leave the room, closing the door quietly behind me. I could hear Bennett in the kitchen, pots and pans banging around as he cleaned up breakfast, or was getting something started for lunch. These creatures seemed to eat all the time.

But I was definitely not hungry.

I decided to wander the large house, hoping the blanket would block a little of my scent and give me some time to myself. Privacy is something I missed the most from my old life.

I found a section of the house I hadn't visited yet. I wasn't sure if I was allowed or not, but I had never been told not to come here so I meandered around, looking in random rooms. I considered hiding in a closet, but I knew they'd be able to find me no matter where I went and thought a closet would be a little ridiculous, so I decided to try and find a room with a bed.

What I ended up finding was a library of sorts. It wasn't a large room, but two walls were floor to ceiling bookshelves, completely full of all differents kinds of books. The wall with the door was solid wood and the fourth wall, the side of the house, was floor to ceiling windows. It was dark and stormy outside, but I hadn't turned on the light so I could see the forest through the windows. It looked completely unnerving in the darkness. I figured that was where Bennett must go to let his beast run free. The thought that Bennett was the most dangerous thing in that forest did not ease my nerves. I closed the door as silently as possible behind me and continued to survey the room. There were a few wooden tables with chairs, a small stand with a lamp and a large, brown leather sofa. I padded over to it with my bare feet and reached out to touch it. The leather was chilly, as was the night and the windows caused the room to be colder than most others, but the cushion was plush and incredibly inviting. I decided with my heavy clothes and large blanket I could heat the leather with my body heat quickly and this would be as comfortable a place as any to fall asleep.

Much better than in between my supposed mates. I would die of heat stroke one of these nights I was sure of it.

I laid down and nestled into the fabric until I was comfortable. I laid on my side so I could stare at the forest. There was no light, so I couldn't see my relection in the glass.

For that I was thankful.

I was so ashamed of what I had done. I could still taste Rowan on my tongue and the thought made my first tear fall. I had been so stupid to think that I could make him care for me. He had made it clear he only allowed me to live because Bennett wanted to keep me like a fucking pet.

I didn't bother to wipe the tears from my eyes or the snot from my nose as I felt the will to live evaporate from every cell of my body. I felt myself begin a downward spiral to the same dark place I visited when my parents died. It took years to claw my way out of that scary place in my mind, but I wasn't sure I wanted to fight it this time. I laid there limply, crying silently as I stared out into the thundering darkness. The sight made me feel worse, knowing no matter where I go, they would always find me and force me back. This mate bond was a prison.

The only way out? Death.

I don't know how long I laid there, silence, regret and anguish consuming me. I eventually heard loud, heavy footsteps hurrying down the hall. I heard the door swing open and bang against the wall, but didn't bother to look up. I didn't care who it was. Shortly after, Rowan's feet came into view. He let out a sigh that sounded like relief before he knealt down in front of me. His eyes raked my face, but I didn't look at him. I kept staring out into the forest. He reached out to touch my face, but I flinched back from his touch. He sighed again, but this time it sounded more like frustration.

"Come on. You missed lunch. Dinner's done." He says quietly. I don't respond, continuing to stare blankly out the windows. He growls a little at my indifference and reaches out to shake my shoulder.

"Human." He says firmly. I snap my eyes to his and narrow them with hatred.

"MY FUCKING NAME IS CLAIRE!" I scream and his eyes widen in shock at my outburst. His shock is shortlived when he scowls at me and stands.

"Don't speak to me with that tone." He growls and I hear Bennett's footsteps as he enters the room.

"Why are you yelling at her again?" He asks and Rowan huffs in annoyance.

"She yelled at me first." He accuses, running his hand through his hair. I ignore them both, not looking at them. Bennett kneels next to me just as Rowan had done and inspects my face.

"What did you do to her?" He asks Rowan who growls again and clenches his teeth.

"I didn't do a god damn thing to her." Rowan defends himself. Bennett sighs heavily and looks back at me with soft eyes.

"Come eat, little one. Before the food gets cold." He pleads softly and I shake my head.

"I'm not hungry." I say, the thought of food causing nausea to roil through me. Bennett sighs again and runs his hand down his face.

"Please, Claire?" He practically begs and I shake my head slightly.

"I don't feel good, Bennett. Can you just leave me alone? For a little while? I'll be fine tomorrow." I tell him. They both eye me with concern as I avoid making eye contact with them. They can always tell when I'm lying, but I hoped what I said was close enough to the truth that it would pass. Bennett looks up at Rowan who gives him a barely perceptible nod before Bennett plants a kiss on my forehead and stands.

"We'll come get you for bed." He says and I shake my head again.

"Can I please just sleep in here? This once?" I plead, barely above a whisper. Bennett's chest rumbles this time, dissatisfied by my request.

"I don't like you sleeping where I can't see you. I need to protect you." He says and I feel the tears begin to spill down my face.

"Can you think about what I want then? Just this once?" I say. I know my voice sounds broken and sorrowful, but I can't hide it anymore. They give each other concerned glances with furrowed brows. I can tell by the way their eyes look distant that they're mind linking each other. I had seen them do it a few times and Bennett explained it to me. The fact annoys me that once again they are talking about me without including me in the conversation. I turn on the couch until my back is facing them and tuck my face into the back of the couch, shaking with tears that won't stop falling. I hear Bennett sigh again and shuffle closer to me.

"Ok, little one. If that's what you want. I'll check on you before bed." he murmurs in my ear, kissing the sensitive spot behind it and my body stiffens at the contact, not wanting to be touched.

I hear their footsteps as they cross the room, closing the door quietly behind them. Once I hear their footsteps fade down the hallway and I'm convinced I'm alone, I turn back to face the window, watching the trees sway in the breeze.

I lay there, staring blankly out into the night until I feel my eyelids get heavy. I close them and wait for the comforting darkness of sleep to consume me. At some point, I think I hear Bennett come into the room. I don't open my eyes and readjust myself to get comfortable to fall back asleep. I feel his hand trail down my hair. The motion soothes me despite the fact that I don't want it to. He leaves quietly, and I fall back into the only peace I'm allowed.

Sleep.