"AND KIANA, IN case you still need a reminder, for obvious reasons, no one would believe me over you." Professor Chester's racist, sexist, cold comment sends shivers down my spine. "And next time, try not to pretend you don't like it."
Picking up my bag, but leaving my dignity on the ground, I walk out of his office, with an aching soreness in my core for the umpteenth time this month.
I slowly walk through the halls, with shaky legs and a big lump stuck in my throat.
"Shit." A deep voice mumbles when I practically shove myself onto him.
Still jumpy, I anxiously look up to see who I just bumped into and feel even more anxious when I see who it is.
Perfect.
"Kiana. I'm so sorry." Kayden says as he picks up my bag for me.
"Don't be. I wasn't looking where I was going. Sorry." I mumble fast, itching to get out of the building.
"Hey, are you okay? You seem a bit...on edge." He says exactly what I didn't want to hear.
"No, I'm fine. Really." I lie straight through my teeth. "I have to go."
"Okay." Kayden doesn't sound the slightest bit convinced. "Um, is Professor Chester in his office? I need to see him."
The moment he says his name, I feel myself tense up even more than I thought possible.
"Yeah, he's in there." I look everywhere but at him as I answer.
"Great. And are you sure okay? Like really okay."
"I'm...I'm perfect." I force a smile that probably isn't the nicest to witness. Poor Kayden.
"I hope so. Anyways, I have to run. I'll text you later?"
"Yeah." I breathe out.
As he stalks off, the realisation hits me that if he came to Professor Chester's office just two minutes earlier, he would have probably found out. And this mess would have become a lot bigger than it needed to be.
The motivation to get home and drown myself in whiskey and invade my brain with some Mary Jane feeds my core. With my episodes back, and my life getting shittier by the moment, my stress levels are at an all-time high. I cannot think of a better way to deal with my problems than that–more like run from them actually.
In my heart, it has never felt right to put weed and booze on the pedestal that I've put them on. But sometimes, not even laughter, or love...or whatever other stupidly beautiful human feeling that exists can numb the pain long enough. Sometimes, there is truly way too much pain to allow myself to exist in the real world. Being on cloud 9 is the closest thing to an escape I've ever gotten. So, I'll take what I can get. This life is after all, survival for the fittest.
YOU ARE READING
Our indelible pasts|✔
Teen FictionBOOK 1 OF THE INDELIBLE SERIES To be destroyed by the very thing you need and love the most, is painful It's the very thing put on this earth to keep you safe, yet all you want to do is to run away from it No words can explain the misery, the pain...
